Forum Follies: I CAN’T HEER U!

People sometimes ask me why I spend so much time answering questions in the WordPress.com technical support forums.

For the lulz, people. For the lulz.

  1. I SELL VIVID ICU MEDICAL FICTION.
    I WANT MISSPELLED NAMES OF OTHER MEDICAL SITES TO BE REDIRECTED TO MY SITE.
    HEY, THEY MIGHT BUY MY BOOK.
    HOW DO I DO THIS?
    I OWN DOMAIN MAPPING FOR MY SITE LUNGLORD.COM.
    AS FOR YOUR HELP- MUCH APPRECIATED.
    BUT BE SPECIFIC. ONE TWO THREE FOUR.
    I AM A WRITER NOT COMPUTER CLEVER.

    HELP ME OF WORDPRESS SAGES YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE.

    LUNGLORD

  2. Please stop posting all in capitals – it’s making my ears hurt.

  3. Aaaaaagh! Stop SHOUTING! No need for the capitals, we’re not all blind as bats.

  4. THEY DONT CALL HIM THE LUNG LORD FOR NOTHING YOU NOW

  5. EH? SPEAK UP! :)

  6. IS YOUR BOOK IN ALL CAPS TOO? IN COMIC SANS?

  7. When someone in cyberspace is TYPING AN ENTIRE SENTENCE OR PARAGRAPH IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, that person is SHOUTING. It is not proper netiquette to TYPE IN ALL CAPS and it makes whatever you typed very difficult for others to read.

  8. WHAT???

    And you would just have to find out by looking at popular websites. that’s the only way.

  9. thank you al fur the same crticsm- that n my haste I just typed nd ntered wen i should hve throughly and prrecisely proofed mi text furst for errorrrs beford subbmiting. Hooever isn charge canned delete this quession fur my grate offinse to protocol. tank you all for c ing past the superficiality of my hummble errrorr and helping mee. It is guud to know peeepole thgat though they correct u they also go a head and help you two.

  10. It only works as parody if we have reason to believe it’s not your house style.

Help Us Help You Help Us All: The Shebeen Club May Meeting!

Mr. Grumpy Pants

Shamelessly stolen from the Shebeen Club, which is officially as of right now no longer my baby! Yes, I wrapped it in swaddling clothes and put it in a wicker basket and took it down to the river and…found out wicker baskets don’t float, so I complained online until somebody solved my problem, as per usual.

Why so serious, pookie?

Has your writing career got you down? Things not falling into your lap like those unicorn rainbows and lollipop dreams would have it? Wondering what to do and how to do that (short of offering to sleep with Jack McClelland)?

THEN YOU NEED TO COME TO THE MAY MEETING OF THE SHEBEEN CLUB!

What with raincoaster heading off to places to our north so as to discover new alcohol-based uses for ice, The Shebeen Club is being forced on a new sucker transferred to a new, bright, shining set of hands! Ian Alexander Martin (a guy comfortable with writing about himself in the 3rd person) wants to know what you — yes, you — want to see in the meetings!

Come on down to the Rebel Room, put him in a sleeper hold, and then calmly explain what you need to learn about and who should explain it to you as a presenter.

The best way to get what you want is to say what that is. No one is willing to admit they can read minds, so join us on Tuesday, May 24th at 7pm for a timely, lively discussion by you and other intelligent people who are writers, publishers, literary agents, PR and Media people, or just plain people involved in that Publishing Biz. Bring your questions, suggestions, and your brain!

As always, tickets are $20 in advance [Eventbrite Link; let us know you’re coming and we’ll give you the early bird price] (available till May 23rd) or $25 at the door, and that includes dinner and a drink. The venue is the upstairs lounge at Revel Room, 238 Abbott Street just south of Gastown.

  • Revel Room: 238 Abbott Street just south of Gastown [need a map? CLICK HERE]
  • JUST $20!! GET YOUR TICKETS HERE! [Eventbrite Link!] includes dinner!
  • …or, bring $25 cash on the evening
  • Tuesday, May 24th
    • 7:00 – 7:30 meet & mingle
    • 7:30 – 8:00-ish listen & learn

Selah.

Shebeen Club tonight at Rogue

Shebeen Club S

Shebeen Club S is for Scribes!

Just a reminder that tonight’s Shebeen Club meeting, Going Pro with Sylvia Taylor, is at Rogue Kitchen and Wetbar, in Waterfront Station skytrain/seabus station. They’ve developed a terrific seasonal menu for us, too, and of course they offer all the fabulous microbrews of their partner in crime, Steamworks Brew Pub. We have lots of space in our private room, so you can just show up and join us at 7pm tonight: $25 at the door.

Choice of Entrées:

1. Coconut Poached Chicken Salad

snap peas, red & yellow peppers, mixed greens,

thin asian noodles, sesame soy dressing

2. Mediterranean Penne

kalamata olives, basil, tomatoes, artichokes,

yellow peppers, goat cheese

3. The 9.2 oz Rogue Burger

home ground sirloin burger cooked to 160

degrees farenheit, sesame brioche bun, bacon,

cheddar, lettuce, tomato, pickle, sweet relish,

mayo, hand-cut kennebec fries

4. Fresh Halibut Tacos

seared cajun-spices halibut, avocado cream,

mango salsa, fennel coleslaw, white flour tortilla

What did you do today, raincoaster?

Pyotr Kotov. A Female Shock-Worker of the “Red Sormov” Works. 1936

Oh, you mean besides edit five chapters of the Guerrilla Marketer’s Guide to Social Media Marketing? And walk for an hour to get exercise?

I did this:

I posted:

Betty White on SNL sneak peek leaked video!
https://raincoaster.com/2010/04/05/betty-white-on-snl-sneak-peek-leaked-video-clip/

The Screenwriter’s Challenge 2010
http://theshebeenclub.com/2010/04/04/the-screenwriters-challenge-2010/

Easter Caption Contest
http://ayyyy.com/2010/04/05/easter-caption-contest/

Che What?
http://lolebrity.net/2010/04/05/che-what/

iPad News: will it blend?
https://raincoaster.com/2010/04/05/ipad-news-yes-it-will-blend/

Easter, what really happened
https://raincoaster.com/2010/04/05/easter-what-really-happened/

Patrick Kim McDermott’s Return from Xanadu
http://trueslant.com/lorrainemurphy/2010/04/05/patrick-kim-mcdermotts-return-from-xanadu/

David Sedaris explains Easter to the French
http://theshebeenclub.com/2010/04/05/david-sedaris-explains-easter-to-the-french/

Godzilla’s Plea
http://lolebrity.net/2010/04/05/godzillas-plea/

Adam Lambert’s Mini Me
http://lolebrity.net/2010/04/05/adam-lamberts-mini-me/

Phoebie Price reaches for the stars

So…11 posts, and five book chapters today. I am not quite sure in fuzzy retrospect how many Strongbows or Raven Cream Ales Shane had to pay for, but I goddam well earned ’em! And the Hendrick’s Martini I remember ordering off the top of the evening…

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CSI Shebeen Club: Monday, March 15th

Cross-posted from The Shebeen Club to get some more bangs for my bucks. To get the most bangs for your bucks, you should buy me drinks on a day I’ve just broken up with someone.

But there…I’ve said too much.

Vancouver Police Museum morgue by John Biehler

Interested in writing crime fiction or mystery novels but feeling unprepared for conveying the fine details of investigation and forensics? Join Chris Mathieson, Executive Director of the Vancouver Police Museum, as he introduces you to policing and the forensic sciences. Bring your questions, and he’ll do his best to answer them.

The Vancouver Police Museum is an independent non-profit organization and registered charity dedicated to telling the history of lawlessness and law enforcement in Vancouver. It also happens to be housed in Vancouver’s former city morgue and Analyst’s lab. In addition to its many popular programs for children, it also offers adult oriented tours on the history of vice crime (Sins of the City) and has recently announced a workshop series called “Forensics for Adults” that explores topics such as forensic pathology, blood spatter and ballistics.

About our presenter: In addition to being Executive Director of the Police Museum, Chris has also been a blacksmith, a philosopher, a university mascot and a neuroscientist. Mind you, he claims not to be as interesting as that sounds.

Chris Mathieson of the Vancouver Police Museum

The Dirty Deets:

7pm-9pm Monday, March 15th, that’s this coming Monday

The Shebeen, Behind the Irish Heather at 212 Carrall Street in Gastown

$20 buys you dinner and one drink, preregistration is not required but please do bring cash. We have the back corner of the Shebeen reserved for us.

See you then! Surgical masks and latex gloves optional.

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