ninja raincoaster card

what did you do today, raincoaster?

Well, this blog post for a start. And almost an end, too.

Friday
So, you know what today is, right? Today is March 302nd, 2020.

Thought it would be interesting, saddening, infuriating, frustrating, and ultimately boring (in other words, Peak 2020) to do another of these, in order to compare them with the entries from back when I, and most of you, had actual lives.

Set the alarm for 10:30 in order to watch the Remembrance Day Ceremony, on YouTube, not IRL, because the government has asked us not to show up in person. This is probably (fingers crossed) my last November in Ottawa, so I was looking forward to being there for it, but it’s not worth literally risking my life. so nevermind. There’s the crowd down there, sure, but there’s also two buses and a train between here and there; before the big change to OCTranspo, it was just one bus straight downtown, but OH WELL. I’m not risking three contagion tanks each way for anything less than a Major Occasion.

Anyway, got woken up at 6 by noise both Roommate-ian and external in origin. Rolled over, looked at the alarm, and realized The Roommate would be in charge of the tv by the time the ceremony was going to go live, and so I wouldn’t be able to watch it anyway, so I turned off the alarm and gave up. House rules: if The Roommate is home, conscious, and able to reach the remote before I am, the tv stays on the programs of his choosing until he either leaves the building (he leaves the programs running even when he leaves, no I don’t know why, not gonna ask) or loses consciousness. One of the reasons I’m looking for an affordable alternative: if you know anything in Ottawa or anywhere in BC south of Armstrong, hmu.

So, that was kinda sad. I still haven’t seen it, and I’d like to. And if I’d been able to get downtown, I could have given out free hugs at the Qidiot camp, hoping to pass along whatever bug I’ve had that’s given me a fever for eight straight weeks. I think infecting a Nazi is a great way to celebrate Remembrance Day.

Went back to sleep and slept deeply, woke up at 2:15pm when The Roommate left and the dog scratched at my door to be let in. I let him in, got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, gathered up some skincare supplies, and went downstairs.

Queued up some YouTube DIY videos and skincare vids to warm up to the day while brewing and consuming my coffee. Dermaplaned my face, which a year ago I never thought I’d be doing; it’s essentially shaving one’s entire face with a scalpel. It removes not just the peach fuzz, but also the dead, dried cells on the surface of the skin, but you do have to be careful because it’s an actual scalpel; you’ll cut your face if you’re sloppy. I managed it with only one scare, but no blood. Anyhoodle, I tried it once and was gobsmacked at how smooth it made my face and how it let the serums and other treatments go so much farther. And today I used Buffet with Copper Peptides and then Rose Hip Oil, covered it with a silicone mask for fifteen minutes till it had been absorbed, then put my retinol Neutrogena moisturizer on and was good to go.

Been on rather a Skincare Journey over the past two years: dermarolling was the first experiment. Loved the results of that! “Puncture your face with hundreds of tiny holes, it’ll be fine!” is not something that parses, but it does actually work. Collagen Induction Therapy they call it, and it simply works. Minorly painful, but worth it, particularly since you shouldn’t do it more than once a week.

Since then I’ve gotten:

  • a skin scraper (not worth the money IMHO, does pretty much nothing)
  • a knockoff Foreo which I adore (nobody needs a $200 appliance to wash their face, but for $30, it’s a very soothing massager for the face which does seem to de-puff things a bit)
  • a freckle/cauterizing pen which is so painful I’m scared to use it even though I’m sick of these dark marks and skin tags on my neck
  • A Faustina IPL machine which works to reduce hair and fight redness and dark marks, and I’m impressed with this one although you have to keep doing it weekly or biweekly
  • a knockoff NuFace, which I’m on the fence about. It’s much stronger than the real NuFace, which should make it more effective, if much less comfortable. I’m moderating the strength by letting the aloe vera gel dry out a bit before using it

I have been letting the skincare slide recently, because The Roommate has been home from work for three bloody weeks. Who takes three weeks off work to just sit on their ass in the living room watching loud tv? WITHOUT GIVING THEIR ROOMMATE A HEADS UP? Ugh. I prefer doing my skincare treatments sitting in my favourite chair, rather than standing in the semi-clean bathroom under lights that buzz and spark. Anyway, he’s back at work now and there are two whole hours of light between the time he leaves and the time the sun goes down, so I’m going to have to use it to the utmost.

So, where was I? Oh yes, rudely awoken, gave up on Remembrance Day, conked out till the afternoon, went downstairs, made coffee, did skincare and watched Christmas DIY instructionals on YouTube while drinking coffee.

Made breakfast/dunch which was a whole wheat wrap with cauli rice, chicken breast, red pepper, and celery, with mustard and bbq sauce. Couldn’t be arsed to take a picture because I’m banned from Instagram BUT I’M OVER THAT.

Checked email and didn’t have a couple that I was expecting. Checked Twitter, and asked a friend for a connection to a local professor. I’m considering going back to school to finish my long-forgotten degree, and this prof is apparently working on something very, very interesting and right up my alley. We shall see.

ninja raincoaster card
ninja raincoaster card

Farted around on the internet, which takes much less time now that I’m banned from both Facebook AND Instagram, and Gawker is dead (RIP).

Justin Trudeau "Because it's 2015."
Justin Trudeau “Because it’s raincoaster.”

Applied for my second CRB benefits: Prime Minister Zoolander is keeping me in better style than any man I’ve ever known. No wonder I almost feel guilty calling him that!

Almost.

Noticed the sun was setting, so took the dog out for a walk probably for the last time without the need for a jacket. Poor guy, he used to be able to do ten kilometers without turning a hair, but these days 2000 steps is as big a walk as he can normally handle. We got some nice pix of the sunset though, which I will probably upload here later, had some nice socially distanced chat, and eyeballed and got eyeballed by several silver foxes, also out with their dogs. Or their Roommate’s dogs. I didn’t ask.

Came back and, because I’m crepuscular, it was time to do some work. First order of business was, get all the dirty laundry off of the bedroom floor and on to the living room floor, where I sorted it. Didn’t start laundry right then because was waiting for the hydro rates to go down at 7.

Checked the job listings and updated the resume for journalism, worked on a cover letter for a local publication. I had to do a lot of research first, because I’d never seen this particular magazine, but it’s not distributed in this end of Buttfuck Suburbia; turns out it’s been around for ten years. Their YouTube channel has a whopping 19 subscribers; pretty sure I could bring some big change in their social media, and my cover letter said as much. Sent in the application and for once didn’t forget to attach my resume. Spotted a damn typo, of course, but then I spotted a few in their ad.

Walked the dog or rather ran/walked the dog at 11 just when The Roommate was expected home, so we got a solid 30 minutes of 1:30 running, 30 walking. Remembered to do my stretches when I got back, too! But still flaked on the yoga, as it’s more of a wakeup routine but I can’t do it till almost 3 when The Roommate leaves for work.

Then it was Midnight Snack time, which was a big salad with some more chicken on it, carrots, celery, red pepper, and tomatillo salsa with goat cheese. God, goat cheese is always worth the money.

I think I overworked the dog today so I gave him one of his old gabapentins to help him sleep and not feel pain. If he’s gimpy tomorrow I’ll sneak him another one as soon as I can.

Still had a low blood sugar headache a couple of hours later, so had half a wrap with lettuce, some goat cheese, and red salsa. Now I’m watching Trinny Takeover videos and waiting for my laundry to be done. As soon as the next load is folded I’ll call it a night.

The new cleaner comes around noon, which means The Roommate has been frantically straightening up all week. Tomorrow should be interesting.

No Answer

What do I want to do? I want to add ten bucks to my Paypal account. What does that take? It seems I have to link a new bank account to my Paypal account, one which has money in it. Okay, how hard can this be?

Add in the debit card/account info as a credit card, which it also is. Success! But I can’t add money to the Paypal from a credit card, it seems, which is what I need to do, so now I have to add in the same information, but as a bank account instead of a credit card even though the information is the same. So, how do?

Add in the information. Click to accept the terms of service. Get a popup saying they have to contact me with a code to confirm. Okay, you have my email. BUT NOOOOO. It says “choose your options” and I have a bad feeling, like in the Call of Cthulhu RPG where basically everyone goes mad and dies, the question is how far you can get before it happens.

There is only one option on the drop-down, an option which freezes the blood in my veins.

“Accept a phone call.”

The crew at Skype and Paypal do this deliberately and watch you scream and cry through your webcam, don't they?

The crew at Skype and Paypal do this deliberately and watch you scream and cry through your webcam, don’t they?

Oh no. ANYTHING but that. But, again, I’m out of options. I really just want to add ten bucks to my Paypal. In for a penny, in for a grueling nightmare of phonetree fails.

It gets worse. The only number they have for me is Skype.

I open Skype on the computer. THIS VERSION OF SKYPE IS NO LONGER SUPPORTED CLICK HERE TO UPDATE…

UPDATE FAILED.

Seriously, feels.

Feels.

Because of course it did. It did so, in fact, several times in succession, so fuck that shit. I go to Skype.com because I remember from the last century that you can still use skype to make and receive calls at Skype.com.

<interlude in which I reset my Skype password three times, because the first two I tried had already been used FUGATES and FUMSFT, imagine that>

I am ready. I click “Call me” on Paypal. I get a retro-tech doo-doo-dooby doo-doo-doo ring tone, but try as I may, I cannot find anywhere to click to receive the call. Skype, it seems will allow me to receive calls, but just not answer them. Sixty seconds later, I get a voicemail, a plaintive female voice asking me, over and over, to put in the code they are showing on my paypal page. Oh, trust me, ma’am, I would if I could, but the tech gods are against us tonight and Microsoft is in retrograde.

They're in the house, we already covered this!

They’re in the house, we already covered this!

I go through this entire procedure twice more, and then I get the genius idea to get my phone, which is charging elsewhere, and open Skype on it, and pounce the instant it rings. And guess what? Paypal says, on my fourth try, “We are sorry we are unable to verify your account” and now that I can finally, FINALLY answer their goddam skype call, they won’t call me.

There’s a metaphor about dating in there somewhere.

So, I guess my Paypal account will just have to be underwater until I get a client, and they choose to pay via Paypal, and I complete the job and invoice and wait, or until Skype actually works, or until I dunno, until technology finally breaks us all and we go back to stone knives and bearskins.

So, how was YOUR Canada Day?

deadpool canadian heritage

So, I went clubbing…

Started out kind of meh, but things got better.

As you can see here:

I think I may go shopping tomorrow. Especially if it’s like this.

Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: what did you do yesterday raincoaster edition

I'm a fucking unicorn

I’m a fucking unicorn

Truth be told, I’m not really feeling the whole Unicorn Chaser phenomenon, but it’s fucking Wednesday so here you go with the kyoot kittehs and assorted adorbz shit.

Snuggie-clad ProtoGay Performs Beyonce:

Seriously, The Thuggie should give that kid some money and backup dancers from Glee and shoot their own commercial. 105,000 views in ten days isn’t scruffy.

If that wasn’t gay enough, let’s have a Kiki!

Okay, your unicorn chaser cutemeister is officially outta here.

Dandelion bailing the fuck outta here

Dandelion bailing the fuck outta here

Time to get real. IF this internet will let me (Starbucks, we’re gonna have words, I tell ya; when Wind mobile is faster, you KNOW you’ve got a problem).

So, what did your intrepid blogger do yesterday, you’re all wondering? Yes? Put your plausible faces on, audience, I like a little effort on your part.

  1. Interviewed Anonymous for an hour and a half on the Par:AnoIA leaks site. Got trolled, what do you expect? but survived.
  2. Sent another list of questions to State Rep Dan Gordon of Rhode Island (this is the third time; he says he’ll answer this time, who knows, he even might)
  3. Sent an email interview question list to Brian Vidovic of EXP bar and restaurant, which hopes to open soon IF they can get this tsuris with their liquor license cleared up.
  4. Interviewed John Young, the founder of Cryptome (and a co-founder of WikiLeaks) and god, wasn’t THAT an experience and a half. Post should be up on the Daily Dot tomorrow, and will be epicsauce. Unless your initials are DDB or JA. Or raincoaster. But how did he KNOW I was a deranged terrorist?
  5. Actually got a workout done, 20 minutes on the stationary bike but better than nothing. I’m doing a 30 day boot camp thingy, so far so good.
  6. Deciphered a math puzzle GIF at 4am, found out the original poster back in 2004, found an alternate version of the same puzzle with the opposite result, found the most lucid and easy to follow explanation on the net, and wrote it up for my Morning GIF: the Fibonacci Bamboozle. God I wish I had to go to a party with math nerds, so I could wear a tank dress with a spiral of sequins on it and explain I was wearing “Fibonacci Sequins!”
  7. Tweaked my Adsense account and ads on Lolebrity.net
  8. Set up monetization on my YouTube channel, but for whatever reason I can’t activate it on the video with over a million views. Ranted at Support after taking 45 minutes to FIND support at YouTube.
  9. Storified the epic Twitter battle between the new @AnonymousIRC and @Wikileaks.
  10. Read several apparently-still-classified documents on infosec and learned a great deal.
  11. Scored half price sushi at T&T for dinner, keeping strictly to my No Flour, No Sugar, No Salt diet. Oh, and did all this while getting in an hour and a half of walking as well.
  12. Felt smug right up until falling asleep face-first in my book.

Which reminds me it’s time to get off the internet, jam some food down my gullet, and get my workout in for today. What did I do today? Pitched four stories or five, can’t remember, wrote up the John Young interview, revised it, waited…waited…waited, went and got my other blog posts up.

What did you do today, raincoaster? Part the whatever

because I’m too tired to look it up, having been awake since Tuesday. And why? Well, part of the reason was that I started a new job at the Daily Dot (and another part of the reason was that my laptop and iPod both conked out on me at the same time). But I got one if not both of them working again and got my story filed and another two to boot, one of which is doing so well the YouTube counter is stuck, which means it’s going up faster than YouTube can count at the moment, which is yay, go me for featuring such a charming and powerful video of Occupy Vancouver.

Which I shall do again here:

It was a bit of a relief to spend so long NOT dealing with trolls, concern or otherwise. But you know what they say…

Haters Gonna Hate! Julian Assange and Me

Haters Gonna Hate! Julian Assange and Me

So, just to double-check, as there is every possibility I may be headed to LA to house-sit for a friend, come February which, I don’t care what April says, really is the cruellest month. Have I made the right choice of career (all others having rejected me out of hand, but that’s their loss HATERS GONNA HATE AMIRITE)?

Let us ask the almighty Interweb:


You Should Be a Script Writer


You are verbal, witty, and expressive. You have probably always had a way with words.

You are intellectual and brainy. You are well read, and you will read anything you can get your hands on.You have a vivid imagination. You can create a whole new world inside your mind.

You love challenges, especially when they involve learning new things. You love to step outside your comfort zone.