Indeed, in the topsy-turvey, through-the-looking-glass world which is New Jersey, it has been officially declared No Name-Calling Week.
Naturally, this set us to thinking, here at the ol’ raincoaster blog. It set us to thinking that this was a concept upon which we could improve. It, along with this post from TAN, well really it, the post from TAN, this post from Lori, and the proven fact that insults, ire, and sheer poopyheadedness generate more comments than reason or normalcy, set us to thinking that we could have some fun with the comments section this week.
It’s Name-Calling Week, fuckerz!
Do your best. Comments which do not include at least one name-calling incident and which aren’t of sufficient mind-boggling stone cold merit to earn a pass from me will have a point deleted from the commenter’s score. All commenters start with zero points, and you earn one for each insult. I, as the Price Waterhouse Cooper of the contest, am exempt and so, for obvious reasons, are serious comment threads.
May the worst mouth win.
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Technorati me!
raincoaster 
hm…you’re a spattergroit infected wembler!
no wait…I can do better. I’ll come back.
She shoots, she scores! First blood.
But yeah: I know you will be back. Your type just can’t get enough abuse, you whimpering, thesaurus-ridden masochist.
malodorous pervert?
(I’ve finally linked to you at http://corporatepresenter.blogspot.com)
Thanks for the link, you knucklewalking Tory apologist! But are you sure you want to link to a Communal Anarchist? If you get a higher Technorati ranking than us, you have to give us links until we’re all equal.
I gotcher no-name-calling week right heah, sis!
For sheer discordance and incongruity, however, I think Spiro Agnew won this years ago with ‘nattering nabobs of negativity.’ Like Lewis Black observed, sometimes somebody says something so stupid that you hear it and die.
Or I could just call anyone in range a pustulent, fermenting, greenish-ochre chancre on the hairy, white ass of democratic principles . . . wait, I was saving that for the State of the Union speech . . ..
You know, Not the Nine O’Clock News once ran a contest for the best way to insult a Belgian, and the winner said he couldn’t think of anything worse than just calling the guy a Belgian. I am reminded of this by the presence of my American friends…
Stop being a pustule on the labia of Mother Earth!
As for your friend Metro (Why should he miss out?) “It’s men like him that give the Y chromosome a bad name.”
Hey, This is fun!
You think Metro has Y chromosomes, you beer-swilling gibbernaut?
(thinks up worst possible insult)
You Bush supporter!
Pingback: Blogoshere Insult Day! « Archies Archive
Manatee beauty contest winner!
‘you whimpering, thesaurus-ridden masochist.’
ha! your ignorance is showing, you blight on the face of intellectualism! (‘spattergroit” is Harry Potteran…a wembler is something from Fraggle Rock :)
archiearchive – watch your language! name-calling week aside, that’s just foul for the sake of foul…shockjockie
in the spirit of the thing…this is a site I used to pass out to the folks at the youth centre. Tis a Shakespearian Insult generator.
http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/
click it, you obtuse sheep! click it now!
Harry Potter and the Fraggles…intellectual, eh? My goodness. One might almost be inspired to come up with an insult, if one thought you could only understand it, you popcult lowbrow.
I HAPPEN to have a wide knowledge base, you narrow minded elitest… Now where’d I put my deep fried bacon?
It’s in your sandwich, along with the peanut butter you quivering lump of cholesteral.
this would be pretty funny if you all didn’t comment like horny platypuses. a bunch of duck-billed cum-guzzling canadian crustaceans, all of you. except the americans.
What can one say of Raincoaster–
who uses a line of makeup called “Why bother”,
whose reflection shrieks and then says “Oh–it’s just you!”
who recalls when the Dead Sea was just looking a little off-colour,
who remained nameless until they invented the alphabet,
who has to wear a three-three when doing ballet, and
who, upon being told the new Canadian Idol contest was recruiting in Vancouver, sat on the couch and did nothing for three whole days–
that has not been said, in ample sufficiency, in other comments?
No, I shall refrain from calling her names. Particularly since in her typically elitist way she has exempted herself from this business. On the other hand, she is definitely the beldame of taste.
Archie, on the other hand is an addle-pated, obviated, intellectually fractured, scrofulous, genetically dubious, budgie-chasing mesomorphic mess.
Not to mention that he’s just jealous ‘cos he wasn’t pretty enough to make the finals in the manatee beauty contest.
See, I knew Metro would be working on this one for hours. God knows, he has no faith in his own ability to wing it. Nor do any of us who know him.
TAN, what can I say about you Americans, except you all talk funny and psssst, when you ran off after we kicked your asses in the War of 1812 you left something behind: your “culture.” It’s ready for pickup at the “Tatty Crap” counter.
Sorry I wasn’t here on day one. Honestly, I live for this blog. It’s the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I read at night, really-o truly-o.
It was just that I didn’t get to this posting until I’d run out of nails to clip, teeth to pick, litter boxes to clean and root canals to get done.
You inconstant lollygagger! Not a single insult in that entire post. Used up your entire stock have you, you cro-magnan wastrel?
…and i’m not a quivering lump of cholesterol. Quit directing your rightful feelings of inadequacy at me, you envious trogladite!
“Troglydite” actually, O microcephalic assgoiter.
And Metro, we are not interested in the things you and your “coven” do in the privacy of your own caves. If you want to clip people’s toenails with your teeth, what’s that to us?
oohh..it’s “trogla”, thou self-riteous poisonous pustule! behold my urban dictionary:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trogladite
long live the culture that is POP *shudder*…i think that was backhanded burn on myself. Do I get points for self mockage?
Cool contest, you obsequious clap trapped hirstute lined wildebeast.
My bad. Make that an obsequious clap trapped hirstute brained scat dropping of a wildebeast.
Monty Python has you beat in the Belgian insult department – Flems.
NO POINTS FOR SELF-MOCKAGE!!!!
Urban Dictionary is an authority the way the Enquirer is a newspaper. Spare me; push yourself off your front paws onto your hind legs like a good hominid and at least upgrade to Wikipedia.
It’s “clap-trapped,” actually, unless you, too, are referencing the only dictionary in the world penned by illiterates, who obviously count you among their number, or would, if they could count. I’m the only one who can read around here for fuck’s sake! And OH GOD, here come the nerds with their interminable Monty Python and the bloody fish slapping dance.
You all have neither lives nor vocabularies: you are nothing but the nethermost dingleberries on the ass of Shub Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.
“Urban Dictionary is an authority the way the Enquirer is a Newspaper” – agreed, both are fantastic alternatives to the uber-dry drivel that is “official accuracy”. I shall never upgrade, you misanthropic bile spewing pedantical tosser! NEVER!
And hinting that I’m a quadroped is not an insult. I happen to prefer crawling. Keeps me from having to look syphilis-spreaders like you in the face.
The Most Honourable the Marchioness of Witchhampton under Buzzard
My Lady Marchioness
Kantian
Your Grace’s obedient servant etc
G E
Inhale….
Play nice you squirming electrified pile of self felating reanimated purple hamster zombies!
Exhale….
Much better!
Hey, I think I just hit upon the best ever alternate term for the blogosphere!
Accurate on every count. I dare anyone to disagree.
Eep! It’s only Wednesday and I think you’ve won already. Poo-poo head!
Anyone who thinks “Kantian” is an insult has obviously had the polarity reversed on their logical positives. Skyrat.
The Most Honourable the Marchioness of Witchhampton under Buzzard
My Lady Marchioness
Cruella de Blair Sympathizer
Your Grace’s obedient servant etc
G E
NOW you’re getting nasty, Deputy chipolata-licker.
You’re just jealous that I picked something other than another line from ‘The Holy Grail’ or ‘Life of Brian.” Besides, someone else started the Python earlier, if you’ll check this thread, Fifty-four forty or bring it on . . . . beeeeyotch!
Of course I meant nothing personal ma’am. Just keeping up the light spirted motif . . . .
It’s SO on, behatch!
Back off or else: you think we haven’t got more where Celine Dion and Howie Mandel came from? Plenty where that came from, and we haven’t looted and burned the White House in ages…where did I put my matches??? Time to haul out your fire-retarded suit, Bubba!
Hey, we took on Alan Thicke and Lorne Greene and won. Where’s your Rick Moranis nowwwwww, eh? Eh? Although that Mylene Farmer was a cute little wench . . . .
Alan Thicke, thankyouverymuch, is alive and well and living in Malibu with his blonde bombshell wife and his millions. As for Lorne Greene, if you don’t think he had any influence, why do you think they call it a Greene Card, eh? Answer me that, you meme-forgetting HIMBO!
Millions of what? Fire and mudslide insurance premiums? And tell me when the last time was you saw a Bonanza rerun someplace other than Nick at Night.
Yeah, when I think of great Canadian cultural contributions, “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” is right there on top.
And remember, it took a real American – George Washington – to bring back a message from the French that Great Britain could kiss their ass when it came to possession of Canada.
And you can see how well that worked out, mofo.
It’s the NAME CALLING THREAD, in case you haven’t noticed. Broadly-flung abuse does not count, although it does set the tone nicely. Asshat.
Thanks for the Braddockburn, and you’re correct – I have lost my focus in this particular circle of hell, you taloned, shrieking, fire-spitting, demonic harpy.
And I mean that in the best possible way.
FFE
Don’t you mean in the “nicest’ possible way !!!
It’s a brave man (or eagle) who challenges even R-C’s neo-Kantianism
Just think – hell hath no fury like a Regen-Coaster scorned
Your obedient servant etc
G E
PS Great reference to talons
Thank you for your kind comments, M. Eagle.
Nicest may have been a better choice, but I supposed I allowed my Cromwellian social streak to creep in when I chose ‘best.’
Besides, I have a deeply internal Welsh streak and she appreciates my offhand familiarity with Burke, although she’d never admit it..
So you streak at rugby matches, boyo!
M G Eagle’s comments come after much cranial effort mit Schpitzen Sparken. His fusen ist geblown!
Ærchie, you are just a dumb leftist sodomite pervert fuckwit troll.
Oops, I mean – – – Ummm – forget I said that!
Is there something wrong with that? I mean, I thought Bono did a telethon for them awhile back?
I love this: duelling obscurities. Is this the best you can do, you morgellons-pubed speedbumps?
Okay Rain, here’s the worst damned name I could ever call any Canadian woman . . . . .
Genevieve Bujold
Or maybe you shriveled Crone-nberg?
Genevieve got to fuck Sutherland in his prime, so it’s not that much of an insult. If you truly wanted to insult me you’d call me an American, duh.
You incontinent, Flock-of-Seagulls-haired geriatranaut.
The Lady Marchioness
Your Grace
Some entirely justified abuse on the new much-aniticpated FFE site :
“Aerchie Archive. In his honest, educated Antipodean way”
Your obedient servant etc
GE
You have obviously flown too close to the sun and it has fried your brains. The last thing FFE needs is a ghost writer, you glorified buzzard.
Even Sutherland made mistakes, my dear, although I suppose she was good practice for his role in “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”
My compliments to you, you inspiration for Lightfoot’s “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”
And, M. Eagle, I didn’t consider your post abusive in the least.
Dear FFE
… but Australians can be very sensitive about being accused of being “honest”, bearing in mind why the 1st Australians came to the Colony
At least, her Grace the Marchioness R-C hasn’t accused me of being diet-avoiding Cheese-Raptor
Tot seins
GE
Yet, O chubby Zamboni of the thermals.
All you dumbass disgusting dispecable degreding pieces of rat excrement vegemite eating bastards can kiss my ass
We may be all of the above, but we’re not a week late like you are, loserboy.