Normally, this is the kind of thing you check out at Snopes before posting: a roundup of allegedly authentic suicide notes. But because this comes from The Well, and from Art Kleiner, I’m going to give it the nod for straight posting. If he’s really been duped by a scheming, frustrated novelist of a coroner, that in itself is post-worthy, and besides, these are fascinating to read.
Suicide Notes
These suicide notes were gathered at the coroners’ offices by a suicidologist/psychiatrist who asked to be anonymous. He edited identifying details out of the compiled manuscript, and we changed the names. But the text of each letter plus the age and sex given are real. All these people did kill themselves. Were they ambivalent about it? About half the hundred or so letters we saw seemed to have some element of doubt.(There’s a strange story in computer folklore about a suicide note that appeared late one night on the Arpanet computer network. The other people on the network had regularly corresponded with the mean, but always under the name of his lab not his own name. When the message saying he was killing himself flashed on the screen they tried to call the police, but nobody could identify him, and he died.) — Art Kleiner Single female, age 21
My dearest Andrew,
It seems as if I have been spending all my life apologizing to you for things that happened whether they were my fault or not.
I am enclosing your pin because I want you to think of what you took from me every time you see it.
I don’t want you to think I would kill myself over you because you’re not worth any emotion at all. It is what you cost me that hurts and nothing can replace it…
Married male, age 74
What is a few short years to live in hell. That is all I get around here.
No more I will pay the bills.
No more I will drive the car.
No more I will wash, iron & mend any clothes.
No more I will have to eat the leftover articles that was cooked the day before.
This is no way to live.
Either is it any way to die.
Her grub I can not eat.
At night I can not sleep.
I married the wrong nag-nag-nag and I lost my life.
W.S.
to the undertaker
We have got plenty money to give me a decent burial. Don’t let my wife kid you by saying she has not got any money.
Give this note to the cops.
read the rest Give me liberty or give me death.
W.S….
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raincoaster 
my favourite is:
To No-one and Everyone:
Because of a growing conviction that a hereditary insanity is manifesting itself beyond my control, I am taking this way out — before mere nuisance attacks and rages against others assume a more dangerous form.
Because I am an agnostic and believe funeral fanfare to be nonsense — I ask that it be forgotten. Instead, knowing there to be a marked shortage of cadavers for the medical profession, for which I have endless respect, I hereby bequeath 1) my body to medics for dissection; also 2) To Mark B. all personal effects — to be divided as whim decrees — with Dr. Lois J., L.A. and to each — a deep fondness and love. 3) To Joe A. the greatest devotion — the kind that “passeth all understanding.” 3a) And my life.
Anita R.
4) To my father, Vincent M., the sum of one dollar ($1)
morbid
my father committed suicide. no note. just a rotting corpse in an abandoned pick up truck several states away. i was eighteen. i hadn’t seen him since i was five.
i don’t get suicide. it is not a route i would ever take myself. but @ the same time i cannot find it in me to judge anyone for taking that route either.
*shrug*
i cannot glamorize it. i cannot condemn it. i’m simply left somewhat bewildered.
The second one is almost comical. I get suicide, I’ve been there. I even wrote a note once, though I don’t remember what was on it other than a list of the pills I overdosed on.
I get it. I get the single female aged 21 one. I think the murderer: mommie and daddy one, very very wierd. That’s not just tired and fed up and giving up, that’s psychotic.
A relative attended a murder where the husband had killed his wife. He then called the police and told them to come round, he couldn’t take any more and killed her. She was sat on the toilet.
BTW: I’ve linked to this on my blog – fascinating post Raincoaster.
These notes all seem so incredibly, adolescently self-absorbed. I feel I’d like to see a graphic representation of the number of social connections each of these people had. We might see something interesting.
I also notice the two that cite ongoing medical costs. The woman with the bronchial damage seems cool and clear. She has made what she considers the only rational choice. Thank the FSM that I live in a nation with socialized medicine.
I think suicide is a self-centered thing, but it may well be a pathalogically self-centered thing, a mental lapse. I’m not sure it’s ever a reasoned choice. But then again, I’m not sure it’s never one either.
That anyone would have to worry about medical costs is simply obscene.
Raincoaster, you morbid, rabid minded bitch you!
I LOVE IT. I’m linking it, too.
My boyfriend – oops, ex boyfriend’s mother committed suicide. She had lost all her beauty so she threw herself in the park’s pond across the street. I didn’t realize you could actually drown in a pond. I thought they were pretty shallow.
Both my great aunt and aunt killed themselves, too. We think my great aunt’s son may do himself in.
Suicide is sad but in my opinion sometimes honorable.
PS I could steal that SG pick and say it’s for Stiletto Girl.
Let me offer it to you as a present. As Her Moistness has been known to say: “Great bloggers steal”.
SG, I’m surprised you’re not already a Suicide Girl. But you’d need more tats and piercings.
Under what circumstances is suicide honorable? I think these medical cases are the most heartbreaking, because they COULD simply have moved to Canada. I know how the billing up here works (or used to ten years ago when I was using it) and while there are costs associated, it’s nothing like this. It won’t bankrupt a family. And is a poor family that much worse off than an orphaned one anyway?
I don’t think it’s ever a reasoned choice. It seems to require an unusual combination of being both extremely depressed and very motivated at the same time, which has got to affect the reasoning process.
Interesting post, though I felt a bit creepy while reading the notes and could only skim through them. Likewise, I could never watch this ‘documentary’.
The Bridge
Oops, looks like my last comment got spammed.
There you go: un-spammed.
RC – Japan?
Actually, I’ve totally forgotten about that site. I have thought of submitting some pics but I’m not goth enough looking nor do I sport numerous tattoos. I only have one and I’ve got to wait ’til the mid life crisis hits ’til I decide to go back to my main ink man, Slugger, and let him molest me with his talented pen.
Maybe just get some bodypaint and a wig then. Glitter works; the real tats won’t have glitter!
Sehr geEhrte RegenCoaster
Let there be no misunderstanding here about Suicide & how obnoxious it is – I’m with Azahar & Metro here
The notes are Poignant, yes, but only if taken at face value & with faculties critical all-suspended
Ladies are a mystery to this Eagle but for most male Homo pSeudo Sapiens, there can be “nothing sadder than unRequited Love” [vielen dank, Masala – Ben Hur]
Like Murder, Suicide is a most Selfish Action, which can devastate those devastated survivors over the decades for the rest of their lives
It is dismaying even for a Stranger, to arrive at the House at Wednesday lunchtime, to be “greeted” by 2 young policemen, uncertain between arresting a reprobate who looked uncannily like a burglar or announcing (with their best-bereavement training) that a Friend had ruined a Traindriver’s life the previous Tuesday afternoon, to say nothing of the widow & the 2 now-fatherless Children
and how do we know if Andrew really deserved to have Esmerelda’s death so cruelly inflicted on her – if she had really cared for “dearest Andrew”, she would not have killed herself, even if Andrew had deserved it
I remain Your obedient Servant and
Yours ever
G Eagle
Dear R-C
I apologize for the Eagle’s slack editing – the lat paragraph should of course read :
and how do we know if Andrew really deserved to have Esmerelda’s death so cruelly inflicted on HIM – if she had really cared for “dearest Andrew”, she would not have killed herself, even if Andrew had deserved it
Tot siens
Mr Eagle’s Proof-reader
O, to have staff. The cry of every writer, ancient and modern.
As for Andrew, we have of course less than half the story here. There are no “Bereaved of Suicide” notes.
A niche that Hallmark surely has a little something for, no?
In fact, perhaps a starving writer might create a customized line of suicide notes …
How about this: “Sign-your-own” sympathy cards!
Those would be extremely popular among those who take antidepressants so they don’t brood over movies-of-the-week and their dog getting snubbed at the park. In other words: I’m surprised Hallmark’s not all over this already.
Of course there are endless songs on the subject, and presumably some of them have entered the public domain despite the best efforts of the Rape Industry Artists Association?
Imagine a card which when opened plays a tinny rendition of “Suicide is painless”. It’s a natural, dammit. And here I am venting it into the public domain …
On another subject:
“Snubbed at the park”? Not when I’m around. As soon as I’ve got the new-or-Version-II up and running I’m planning a disgusting photoblog post, made possible by the “responsible owners”.
Exunt muttering maledictions.
Note to self; Metro wants galoshes for his birthday.
Actually, Metro wants Gillian Anderson IN galoshes.
Or possibly Nicole Kidman dressed as a giant hot dog?
Or Tia Carrere in a Youpi costume?
But I’ll settle for one of the Dallas Cowgirls in a cute little cowgirl outfit, ‘cos I’m easy to please, yo.
Or a Canadian Tire gift card.
Tim Horton’s gift certificate?
Anything, really.
Sigh.