mouldy oldies: why did the chicken cross the road

Subservient Chicken crosses the road if you tell her to!

Stolen from the Silliness.org blog, which got it from god-knows-where, same place we all got it from: the email hole.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSAIN (this used to be Hitler, then Qadaffi)
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released chicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of chicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don’t think I should have to answer that question.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious?
Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it, the “other side”.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

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13 thoughts on “mouldy oldies: why did the chicken cross the road

  1. alejna says:

    This was what my day needed. Thank you.

    How about: “to get to the other Starbucks.” (Though I’m not sure who’d say it.)

  2. raincoaster says:

    Is there a road that doesn’t have a Starbucks on each side?

  3. Juan says:

    Cronies
    ur in the wrong place. u should ask that at wordpress.org

    Man, I’m bad…

  4. raincoaster says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about inside baseball! Hilarious! I hope TT sees that!

  5. Oh no! Oh well, I’ll remove it from my “Drafts” – Should have posted that one instead of doing “Bray it again, Sam.” – - -

  6. raincoaster says:

    The blogosphere waits for no-one! He who hesitates is out-Technorati’d!

  7. Maybe I’ll store it for a couple of months. The memory of an average blogger has been calculated at about twenty three days.

  8. Because it was stapled to the baby (sorry, a flashback to bad high school jokes)

  9. azahar says:

    Is there a road that doesn’t have a Starbucks on each side?

    (Rain)

    Unfortunately … not many, not nearly enough. :razz:

    Hey, I remember my sister sending me this in an email about a kazillion years ago. Pretty funny!

    Should have posted that one instead of doing “Bray it again, Sam.”

    (Archie)

    Honey, just about anything else would have been better.

  10. raincoaster says:

    I think Robson street has eight Starbucks. But not enough that give me a discount, dammit! I KNOW HOWARD, YOU PEOPLE!

  11. azahar says:

    Ooohh, my comment turned out all messy – can you fix it nicely, with your (names) inside the blockquotes, and then delete this? Ta!

  12. [...] was a joke I made up a while back, inspired by a list of chicken jokes. I cracked myself up with [...]

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