It was Lisanti that started it, on Twitter. Cultural phenomena used to start in Rome and were carried, over the course of years, to the outer reaches of Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Now they start on Twitter.
Sic transit Gloria I didn’t know Gloria took public transit, now where was I?
Oh yes, talking about decadence and cultural devolution and short attention spans. And Twits. Tweets. Whatevers.
@lianamaeby Have you considered the possibility that Jason Schwartzman is fucking atop your building’s dryer?
He sez. And he goes on, all unashamed-like:
It occurred to me that some of you may not be interested in who might be fucking atop @lianamaeby dryer.But I say dryer-humping is beautiful.
It is at this point that I recall hazily that it was on Lisanti‘s watch that Defamer posted the notorious Peer Pressure video. Peer Pressure? you ask, or you do if you’re not too undercaffeinated to recognize a cue when you see one. Peer Pressure, the glorious YouTube record of the Pathetic, Skeezy, Gangsta-Lite, Ottoman Gang-Banging Empire.
This:
Previously, of course, there was the brain-scarring Chachi Loves Couches incident, of which we shall not speak. It is still too painful.
And where has it gone from there? From the obviously diseased mind of a broken and twisted blogger, cast aside by Technorati and wandering now in the wilds of Tumblr, where the tumblrweeds are all following one another. Also: size queen!
- China Vagina
Which he stole from BrianVan.
But now the meme (I said meme; shoot me if you must) has broken free of its moorings and is careening about the memosphere, infecting all in its path. First Silverstar, then Az:
Where will it end???
Boston?
- White Plastic Chairs Mating
Even the Germans?
- you should see his easy chair
And I stole it from News of the Weird Weblog.
And News of the Weird, by their very nature, got it from somewhere else. Probably Lisanti, the perv!
And here I thought it was Tom Cruise that loved couches.
I mostly feel sorry for the cat. Poor kitty…
Here in the UK we have Matthew Parris, TV presenter, journalist, sketchwriter and former Tory MP. He’s self-confessed sofa fetishist.
From his autobiography: “From the earliest age, I have enjoyed being sat on. I would try to worm my way under the cushions of a sofa, wait for someone to sit down, and savour the sensation of being pinned to the under-springs and almost crushed beneath the weight of the adult above.”
The Brits have the BEST political perv stories. I still remember the head of Major’s morality squad, who pleasured himself to death with an orange and a vacuum cleaner while wearing nothing but fishnets, Crisco and a wig.
Well, I’ve never seen furniture get trained or fingercuffed before . . .
I can’t believe I’d forgotten a couple of incidents when I first read this post, but to make up for lost time…
A friend once asked me to collect a computer and monitor for him. I had a car at the time, he didn’t, so I said yes. I went around to the house where I was to pick up the computer and knocked at the door. It was a Saturday and the football was on, so I wasn’t surprised to be greeted by a bloke in football strip with a tinnie in hand.
He invited me in and told me to grab a seat while he waited for an ad break. So far, so normal.
What was far from normal was his coffee table, replete with more tinnies, crisps and chilli dip. The coffee table was actually a woman, dressed in latex, curled in a ball on her back, arms contorted to support her, with her legs on her chest supporting the glass table top. She was bound and gagged.
The bloke had collapsed onto the sofa and put his feet on the “table” before his spotted me goggling.
“Don’t worry mate, she gets off on being used as furniture. Offside or what!!!!!”
I left with the computer as soon as I could, although I did wonder what images might have been left on it.
As for the other incident, I’ve run out of time but might pop back again to detail it. Suffice to say that, unlike Frontier Former Editor, I have seen a handcuffed sofa before. It was in good shape, unlike the man attached to it…
I’ve heard of that. Which of course brings me to this:
http://raincoaster.com/2007/06/06/dating-for-dominatrixes/
and this:
http://raincoaster.com/2007/09/14/nyotaimori-and-nantaimori-eating-japanese/
That Chinese’s is a hell gigantic!
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