The internet will never be the same

It's a sad day, ladies and gentlemen. One of the memes that shaped our world is no more.

Bonsai KittensThe Bonsai Kitten Website is toast.

It seems like just last year (because it was just last year) that some poor, distraught and bleeding soul forwarded me an email that told of acts of unspeakable barbarity: the forcing of tiny, helpless felines into cruelly warped and demented forms to satisfy a market's twisted and obscene desire for fashion. It was with a sense of joy unbounded that I read the email, for truly there is no pleasure on Earth which can compare to the smugasm provided by informing some bleeding heart that it is bleeding over a stupid joke.

Dear *insertbleedinghearthere*Bonsai Kitten Instruction

I am delighted that you forwarded this email to me, as well as your livejournal friends, your co-workers, your MP, the alumni magazine of your alma mater, and Izzy Asper, who is dead. It truly shows how important we are to you.

And the emotion! Well it's obvious to all just how strongly you feel about this issue, and how courageous you are in taking action by forwarding this email to three hundred and seventy-nine near-strangers. Surely someone, somewhere, will be moved to actually do something?

Bonsai Bottle KittenIn the meantime, it is my great pleasure to inform you that your campaign has already had its desired result. Not only are no more Bonsai Kittens being produced in the sweatshops of Guandong and Jakarta, but – O can you guess??? It's unspeakably fabulous! Better than you could have believed possible!

Not only is the production of Bonsai Kittens ended, but the campaign has been so successful it has actually reached back in time and prevented the invention of Bonsai Kittens! That's right! Not only do they not exist, but now, thanks to an unstoppable army of emailers such as yourself, Bonsai Kittens in fact never existed!

Isn't it all just too marvelous? You should be so proud.



But you can order one of these snazzy Bonsai Kitten Christmas ornaments but only if you act fast! Forward this to five of your friends…

Bonsai Kitten Ornament

One thought on “The internet will never be the same

  1. Pingback: Bonsai Kitten 2011! « raincoaster

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