- Enjoyed a long display of over a hundred of mine host’s wedding photos, with detailed commentary, despite the fact that I was at the wedding and am, indeed, featured in about 25% of the photos. But the babies dancing are cute.
- Led an animated discussion on the merits of the elephant versus the rabbit vibrator, pointing out obvious advantages of the former, to which Metro replied, “You know why elephants don’t pick their noses? Because where are you going to hide a 30-pound booger.”
- Devoured at least 750 ml of Sauvignon Blanc, followed up with some kind of pilsner, which is the order in which one should consume them, as by the time the gas from the beer has hit, one and one’s entourage are far too drunk to actually care anymore.
- Hit the mall. Trust me, in this town, that’s a big deal. Blogworthy indeed.
- Acquainted mine hosts with the fact that one of the premiere scrapbookers in the U.S. of A. is Blair, from Facts of Life, blogger Lisa Whelchel herself. Her blog’s not half bad, by the way, if you can stand happy Christian housewife types.
- Missed the Gawker Kristallnacht entirely. Bugger. Jessica‘s a better writer than Jesse, and snarkier, but what they really need is a proofreader, not a co-editor. Unless they’re still hiring. HI, NICK! Darling…
- Had nothing more than a crust of bread for breakfast AND lunch this morning. Shocking, really. Metro and Master Cowfish have a lot to answer for. For which to answer. Whatever.
- I’ve finally had it with middle-aged men who want to get into blogging but who insist on having their assistants do the writing, and subsequently letting the post ripen in their email inbox for a week, after which it is run through a character and interest removal algorithm before being posted, because they want to be part of this “New Media Thang.” Bust a sphincter, post a first draft, and see if your world really is insecure enough to fall apart as a direct result. Surprise me; I don’t think your life is that interesting.
- Getting cranky, time for bed.
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raincoaster 
Can I just say that I offered you more for breakfast/lunch, but all you wanted was a slice or two of bread?! (and you only saw about 30 minutes of morning!) Delish tacos for dinner, too.
That wasn’t the big mall, that was the mall with the Government Grocery — but if you don’t want me to buy anymore booze, just let me know….
And another thing: I’m not going to trust your bright-eyed, eager “Of course!” again…I thought you were enjoying the photos! :P
And by the way, when exactly did you and Metro discuss vibrators? (Such a ring of truth with his bad joke…good thing I’m not the jealous type)
We discussed vibrators just as the threesome on the bed was breaking up. You have no head for Sauvignon Blanc or you’d have remembered.
I left out the part about having to scrub the chairs, and the forced marches, and the Vesuvius of an engineering conference on Sunday. And this morning, the noise from the traffic was deafening!
But of course, I always enjoy looking at pictures, particularly when I’m in them. It’s just that if you want a positive spin on the trip, you have to pay my marketing rates.
Of course, then I’d have to pay your B&B rates, and we’d both end up bankrupt.
Why does the coffee taste like almonds?
Hey! I’m middle-aged and I write my own material and post it damn near immediately after composition. Can’t help it if my jokes are old as the hills though . . . .
If you like writing your own punchlines, check out the story of the Japanese snow monkey on the loose in Richmond, Virginia. We await your creative efforts…
No pressure.
Oh, the macaque in Roanoke. I actually got the press release from the Mill Mountain Zoo a couple of days ago – we’re three hours drive and about 100 miles straight-line distance from there, which speaks volumes about this monkey’s capacity to escape and travel . . .
“Beware, the Japanese Snow Monkey is considered prehensile and dangerous.”