From Gawker. 

Because You Demanded It — deranged man attacks subway rider with industrial tools, then absconds with teddy bear on continued crimewave. The Today Show has the goods above. Shocking, as even with the trials and tribulations of a normal New York subway commute, one rarely expects an assault from a pair of cordless reciprocating saws. And there’s some question about whether or not MTA workers at the scene fled and/or observed the carnage with bored disinterest. See zone-flooding repetitive linkfest after the jump for full details, but the upshot is that the alleged saw-wielding maniac has been apprehended, and the victim is recovering from his wounds in the hospital. Plus, as Newsday notes, subway officials don’t think this will make customers feel unsafe, and they’re right — an interviewed straphanger says of the saw attack, “It doesn’t happen that often.” [emph. added]

Link roundup and more here.

Okay people, what was I just saying about do-it-yourselfers? These people should be stopped before they attempt to teddy rustle again.

Surely Canadian Tire sells some kind of DIY-er-proof fencing. Like, for when they have doorcrasher sales on Motomaster batteries and shit. Round ’em up and let God sort ’em out. As long as the corral “needs work” they’ll be content. They may not even notice; perhaps we could send them to Gitmo to put in a pool and squash court.

Does anyone have before/after pix of Alderson?