That’s not the title, but it’s sure as hell the reason I’ve included it here. Got this via Gawker.

Let’s go to the transcript for some more sample lines:

They say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I say that the easier-shortcut-that-all-the-locals-know-about-but-don’t-tell-the-tourists starts with this phrase: “It seemed like a really good idea at the time.”

Because that’s what this plan did; it seemed like a really good idea at the time.

And, of course, goes on from there. Add a cockroach, an elderly Russian woman, and underpants, and presto! instant blog post o’ the day.