Now, really, doesn’t this explain everything?
I love it when Daleks get pissy. “All you do is pro-cras-tin-ate! Pro-cras-tin-ate!”
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raincoaster 
I don’t who what I can comment about that, err it was funny? when I was working in call centres I was never the little robot voice, I was the person you get through to after you’ve chosen your options.
Best bit is that on any one day you can call three times, press the same options and giet through to three different call centre companies with different standards of training and different levels of staff access to your account.
Transfering people around the system is quite funny too. Especially when they get through to you and start off by saying they have been on the line for 20 minutes and keep getting transferred – you can transfer them back to the beginning.
20 minutes is nothing; you should try dealing with our phone company. I think I was in the queue for three and a half hours once.
BoingBoing had a list of hacks you could use to get through to a live being immediately, but it’s lost in their soup of an archives. T’would be worth cash dollars if I had that thing to hand.
Did you see Guido’s post about how to hack into voicemail? Quite informative: I saved that one.
Y’know, I think I’d rather have a Cyberman than that bloody Chatty Cathy machine from Telus:
“Hi. I’m ***. So I can help you, here are a few options. When I come to the one you want, just repeat it.”
At this point I grab anything handy and read it into the receiver. After a couple of minutes of “I’m sorry–I didn’t understand that,” I generally get a few minutes of blessed hold music (who ever knew those words would ever go together) and then a Real Live Boy (or Girl). But a Cyberman would do.
Even a Dalek might be preferable:
“You are pa-thet-ic. You can-not a-ssem-ble the fu-ton you pur-chased from I-ke-a? You will be ex-ter-mi-nat-ed!”
Come the grand invasion though, I’m gonna clean up with my “Mr-Polish” chain. I’ve even got a jingle:
When you’re tired of playing rough & tough
Mr Polish will get you buff!
Popular with Dalek Metrosexuals.
Well you’d know all about buffing Daleks, wouldn’t you?
Is that anything like polishing a Pulitzer–I mean a Peabody?
Something like that, only if you rub them the wrong way you get exterminated.
How is that different from women, exactly, then?
I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a dalek or a woman.
Hmmm–unusually picky of you, isn’t that?
Besides, what have you against Daleks anyway? They were bloody well good enough for Katy Manning (aka Jo Grant of the Jon Pertwee era)!
Wow, HOW old are you?