Since Hurricane Lucy Gao hit, stats haven’t been nearly as much fun to check as usual. They’ve been bigger, juicier, and technically more exotic, but only half as much fun, because I always know that my top posts are going to be Lucy Gao‘s email, Lucy Gao doesn’t need a PA, she needs an enema, and Lucy Gao Revealed, plus Beautiful Agony, the Mentos boys, and Blackzilla, which I did not realize was the name of a popular line of porn flicks when I posted it.
No, really. I didn’t.
But now it looks like the hurricane is finally winding down, and to that I say it is ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
Yes, I liked having 3300 hits a day. I liked being the #2 blog on WordPress. But I’d rather be loved for my entire blog than just for five frickin’ posts, people!!! What good is it being the Pavarotti of the goddam blogosphere if all people ever see is Lucy Fucking Gao and their beloved mango porn??? Eh? I ask you that!
In any case, it appears that the storm has abated and I have managed to keep nearly 50% of my new readers, although 10% of them have only come by googling “vanityfair.com,” for which I am the #2 result. And I’m kidding myself if I think I don’t owe it, in some sense, to Lucy Freaking Gao, who even got me a link from CBS News, FFS y’all! Even though it’s only half as good for hits as a link from the front page of WordPress. Shhhh, don’t tell the producers!
I have also learned, from my comments on Chartreuse and Guido‘s blogs, that references to the size of one’s breasts are excellent for hits, although moreso with Americans than with Brits. Benny Hill was born in the wrong country, Itellya.
In any case, I am inexpressably grateful to Graydon Carter and Vanity Fair for knocking that snobbish intern off her throne and giving me, at last, some surprises in the Stats page.
Hail our new #1 post! (which we know we owe entirely to people searching for Suri Cruise pix, but we’re not real choosy over here if you haven’t already noticed)
raincoaster 
ahhhhhhhh,
If it wasn’t for me keeping your Lucy whatsherface story going where would your blog be , eh?
True enough. Tell me, has the hysterical jingoist on the Boris Blog calmed down, or do I have to go back and point out that, if not for the 20% of Canadians who died in WWI, you’d all be eating schnitzel now?
Ah, leave it. That whole thread dropped to all fours almost immediately. Most of the smart commenters have stayed out of it entirely, as I shall do from now on.
Things must move fast in blogoshere time. I’ve just looked and you are at no.22. Now I know you used the past tense but……..
Pavarotti and mention of your breasts is giving me daymares; top totty Pavarotti may bring in the hits but not if you have a modicum of imagination.
STB
Yep, things move fast. Three days ago I was #2.
I don’t look much like Pavarotti, although perhaps we have the same chest circumference.