Also excellent for birth control, as anyone who sees that you wear these horrific remedial incontinent-Grandma pants will cut (out) like the wind.
The Under-Ease pants have an in-built multi-layered, replaceable filter made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool.
Having recently returned from the Valley of the Shadow of Conservatism, I must take a moment to note for posterity that, no matter what the level of fine or otherwise dining one may be enjoying there, the main course is always accompanied by a hearty serving of boiled, frozen broccoli and cauliflower. Always. I believe this to be a subtle yet effective adaptation to the climate; a clever way of ensuring that Ontarians do not freeze in their sleep, as their beds will be cosily heated for hours from the pre-heated gaseous emissions resulting from the breakdown of said side-dish cruciferousness. Cruciferocity. Whatever; it’s nothing to do with Catholicism. There is obviously no market for these pants in Ontario, regardless of the religious demographics.
I’m wondering if, after a certain point of flatulence and resultant inflatuation while wearing these pants, one achieves the ability to fly, Hindenburg-style? I can just see currently-sexagenarian Richard Branson snarfing down some quick Taco Bell and attempting to set a new record for underwear-powered flight. And, of course, if this method of transportation catches on it could revolutionize the car and aerospace industries as well as meaningfully reduce global warming and cause the entire tax system to be re-evaluated. I forsee a boom in the legume and dried turkish apricot markets very soon.
Buy low, sell high.
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Technorati me!
raincoaster 
we need a pallet of these posted to Gimcrack Hospital right away!
No ordering info, unfortunately. Have you tried aromatherapy candles? Open the window before striking the match, lest ye be blown out.
I am surprised this post hasn’t generated more wind, because it blew me away! I think I might need a pair like these if a new guy ever stays over! I wonder if these really works.
“I believe this to be a subtle yet effective adaptation to the climate; a clever way of ensuring that Ontarians do not freeze in their sleep, as their beds will be cosily heated for hours from the pre-heated gaseous emissions resulting from the breakdown of said side-dish cruciferousness.”
Ha HA!
Oh. My. God. With puns like that you must have been reading FFE’s comments. I beg you to spare your psyche this pain.
And: obviously you’ve never slept with an Ontarian. I. Am. SERIOUS. This is why god invented candles. “For atmosphere, darling!”
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Why aren’t these produced in bovine sizes, given Great Britain’s concern over mammalian dispersal of the ozone layer?
I suppose that, if they were also made for pigs, then you’d have the ultimate spam filter as well . . .
Someone’s not following my tax-related links…
I did, but they’re putting th eonus on the farmer without provifing the state-subsidized technology to all market forces to take advantage of the problem and thus control the issue of cow farts.
Hmm, never thought that would make me subscribe to Marxist economic theory.
Welcome aboard. If Lenin had known that all it took to convert the world was farty cows, he’d have had agents all over the world sneaking tacos into bales of hay. The cold war would have been VERY different.
I’ve decided, I’m ordering a pair just to see if they work. Don’t they offer a Brazilian cut? Oh, I guess that would defeat the purpose.
I think so. Unrelated, but amusing: over at Cafepress, some Viggo fan has made thongs that say “Viggo” on the front. One wonders about the market for plus sizes that say “Mortensen”.
I’m not sure if he’d like his name smeared like that.
As long as they were healthy, I would assume there would be no smearing going on…skidmarks are SO unattractive.
And from what I hear of Viggo, I think he might not mind as much as you think.
i would like to know about these panties.
how can i order them
Looks like someone beat me to the idea of inventing fart-proof underwear. My boyfriend can sure use them.
Damn, girl, maybe you need to dump your boyfriend. Hope you two have been dating a long time for him to be cutting the cheese without mercy.
Speaking of Viggo, imagine my surprise when I surfed my new cable channels and saw a sneak preview of him in – TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – was in no. 3? – what the hell????
Number two: Leatherface. Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey were in #3. He makes a cute cannibal, don’t he?
Can these fart-proof-panties (for gentlemen) be purchased in Toronto, Ontario, Canada? And if so where.
Thank you