conspiracy 911: the real reason it happened

Another video from apeman, the twisted Canuckistani genius who brought Hinterland’s Who’s Who’s Crack Spider into being.

Again, I’m sticking the video and lyrics over the jump because I was told that it was kinder to the people on dialup and also because I hope this way I won’t have to do a bloody restart every time my cache fills up.

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I made this film as a rejoinder to all the crazy 911 theories floating around the Internet. My plan is to fight madness with madness. It’s a battle the conspiracy nuts cannot hope to win. For I am the Moscow of madness, whereas they are merely the provincial weather stations.The complete article can be read here: thetyee.caThe Lyrics:
(in case you have crappy little speakers and can’t make out my whisper)
Since september eleven
I’ve been having suspicions
cause those buildings came down
like a controlled demolition
do these explosions – or squibs –
mean someone planted a bomb?
how come no wreckage was found
on the Pentagon lawn?
who’s in charge of security?
the President’s brother
so why’d they rush to pin it on
a person of colour?
Obama/Osama
they already lynched Saddam
and they’ve been singing for years
’bout how they’d love to bomb Iran
bomb bomb bomb
bomb bomb Iran

Bush got a hotline to Jesus
but they call him the Great Satan
it’s like he got his wires crossed
and the two he’s conflatin’
but its not because he’s evil
we all do the same thing
remember: Satan wears red
and tries to tempt you with bling

ka-CHING!

we’re spending billions on Star Wars
thanks to that Hollywood fella
and there’s too many Georges
like they’re all in it together
who shot JFK in Dallas?
and who shot JR?
and was his brother Bobby shot
or was he killed by a car?
and check this snapshot of Dick
shaking hands with the King,
because one truth is self-evident:
it’s all about the bling.

Peace -Apeman (First Church Of Christ, Filmmaker)

6 thoughts on “conspiracy 911: the real reason it happened

  1. No, no, no! Think!

    It was the secret clone of Jerry Lee Lewis which houses Hitler’s reanimated brain!

    I don’t know how many times I have to post that in full caps on a bulletin board before people will understand.

    If you disagree with me, you are quite obviously involved in the conspiracy. I warn you that I have mimeographed my collection of evidence and hidden copies in recycling facilities all over the province. It’s also written in code on the inside of my tinfoil helmet. If you do away with me, the world will know, no matter how hard you try to make it look like just another of the 1023 Clinton murders. 1023!–coincidence?

    I think not.

    You should really be more careful about posting these crackpot theories. You might make conspiracy researchers look very silly.

  2. No, I meant Jerry Lee Lewis. Is there another clone carrying Hitler’s brain around? I don’t think so.

    The Jerry Lewis theory was widely debunked when it became clear to the usegroups that Jerry Lewis’ brain now resides, in fact, in George W. Bush.

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