getting oral is good for you

barracuda, not exactly doctor fish although they will eat you if you ask nicely 

No, seriously. Getting eaten by fish is the latest craze (and there’s a reason they call it that) in health.

And this has nothing to do with that nasty fetish video of that horrible Cockney woman and the eels…

The Guardian reports on how the delicate mouthings of imported Turkish doctorfish bring relief from psoriasis (and also confirm for me that when old people take a bath it’s really just soup). And Mainichi backs them up.

…doctor fish seem happy to devour any old epidermis – in fact, the older and thicker the better (if you put a child in the water next to an old person, the fish will apparently go for the old person)…

Exfoliation is a key part of any skin beautifying treatment. But forget salt scrubs, rubs and foot files. Why not try something far more efficient: the toothless mouths of hundreds of tiny, voraciously feeding fish?

doctorfish chowing down“Doctor fish” – so named for their ability to produce healthy, glowing results from even the most crusty or diseased epidermis – are the key ingredient in a spa and skin treatment becoming increasingly popular across Japan, China, Turkey and Europe. The idea is that you immerse your feet, hands or, if you are brave enough, your entire body in a warm pool that swarms with hundreds of hungry minnow-sized feeders. The fish zoom in on your most crusty, flaky or scabby skin and chomp away at it to reveal the fresh layer beneath…

I’m pretty sure I saw a porno like that once. Ever noticed how much women’s porn is set in spas? Yeah, that’s right: I bet this story is just a very clever code. John Donne would be proud.

He was a filthy old bugger.

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13 thoughts on “getting oral is good for you

  1. Actually I think this is an environmentally superior alternative to cortizone laden creams and that’s for sure.

  2. Yes, provided the fish aren’t very hungry, or very large. But what about shipping these things around to hot springs? That can’t be a great idea; what will they do to the ecosystem?

  3. i’m seriously ticklish on my feet (and a few other places i’ll not reveal), i have a feeling that i wouldn’t tolerate fish nibbling there or anywhere else!

  4. Just the idea of fish tongues licking me would be enough to put me off this. They have no teeth, they just lick you and their saliva dissolves the dead skin.


  5. No-one has yet said: “I tell my partner that all the time, but does he/she listen?”

    So I will.

    As for being nibbled to death by fish, sounds like a Newfie orgy.

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