Harry Potter, Marilyn Monroe, and Chewbacca: when wookiees attack!


What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a repeat offender.

Chewbacca, a Wookiee listing his occupation as “co-pilot,” is the prime suspect in a sexual assault on the blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe which took place during the long-awaited and star-studded premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the illustrious Kodak Theatre.

CBS has the deets:

Chewbacca … sexually assaulted … Marilyn Monroe … in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then evaded arrest, police said.

According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress’s hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists…

Hey, now that I think of it, just exactly what was he trying to perform, and how much will tourists pay to see that?

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2 thoughts on “Harry Potter, Marilyn Monroe, and Chewbacca: when wookiees attack!

  1. Yep, Captain Jack shows up all over: he seems to be the great peacemaker of the costumed superhero ranks. There’s a blog post somewhere on life lessons from this Jack Sparrow…maybe Defamer has it. Well hell, we can do worse for role models, eh?

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