It’s true, and who can blame him?
Grizzled heartthrob of the Pacemaker set Harrison Ford has admitted in an interview with David Letterman that there is nothing he likes better than grabbing the stick, taking control of his favorite Canadian Beaver (vintage ’59) and heading into the bush. He likes it in the rough.
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What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a repeat offender.
Chewbacca, a Wookiee listing his occupation as “co-pilot,” is the prime suspect in a sexual assault on the blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe which took place during the long-awaited and star-studded premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the illustrious Kodak Theatre.
…Chewbacca … sexually assaulted … Marilyn Monroe … in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then evaded arrest, police said.
According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress’s hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists…
Hey, now that I think of it, just exactly what was he trying to perform, and how much will tourists pay to see that?
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An immortal hero versus a dead rock god? No contest, baby. Indy takes it going away. Highly educational infographic from Tanya, who quite sensibly calls the contest the same way I do. If only all schools had access to charticles like these, eh?
For more Indianization, check out Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu (an updated classic! Cthulhu and Indy, together again for the first time) and
our two Which Indiana Jones Character Are You Quizzes.
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There seems to be a slight difference of opinion among these quiz-type things. I mean, hey, if you can’t trust anonymous internet quiz-builders, who can you trust?
Check it out below. To really get your Indy on, do the quizzes and finish off by checking out our own dear, sweet re-edit job: Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu.
Which Indiana Jones Character are You
You are Indiana Jones the King of all Crusaders
Take this quiz!
Now, you cannot tell me that 55% of quiz-taking Myspacers are Indiana Jones inside. No way. That’s just too arrogant. But this…this is going too far.
You are a Victim!
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| Congratulations! You are most like a Victim, an unfortunate being always in constant need of Indiana Jones’ help. Although it sucks to be the Victim, your helplessness plays a vital role to the Indiana Jones of the world because he/she can save your sad behind from cannibals and hunters. |
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What do you people think? Is he going after Cthulhu this time?
It’s just too bloody perfect, you know. The protagonist in The Call of Cthulhu was an aging archaeologist with a reputation for doing things his own way. With his trusty buddy, Inspector Legrasse, he crosses the globe, attempting to puzzle out the mysterious connection between a precious religious artifact, a cannibalistic cult of Louisiana swamp dwellers, and a vicious tribe of Greenland Esquimaux.
Blowing away forever all pretence to cool I may once have possessed, I have re-edited Howard Phillips Lovecraft‘s immortal Gothic tale The Call of Cthulhu, and placed at its heart a certain Midwestern academic who is, himself, no stranger to the strange.
Right-click, Save As:
Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text by raincoaster
Also: Indy in a hat. Still hawt?
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raincoaster 