my pet vampire

VAMPIRE

Now, I could be wrong but I don’t believe I’ve explained how I came to be in possession of an Indonesian vampire carved out of human bone.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one…

So, I was touring the hidden souvenir shop with the CIA agent, and I found  a wee statue of an Indonesian vampire, and lo, those are not something that are common, even among Indonesiacs, and so I not unnaturally was curious, all the old Gothisms rising up in me and saying quite clearly “Edgar Alan Poe would be so totally jealous of you if you owned this” and I flipped it over and there was the price, 1500, or about three bucks. And I said to the enormous nun, “what kind of bone is this,” a not unnatural question, given that it was in fact carven of bone rather than casten of concrete or such, and lo did she answer, quite offhandedly, too, “Oh, I think it’s human” which really went well with her whole “the archbishop went to visit the headhunters. Oh, they’re so well mannered. They’d never do it IN FRONT OF HIM…” etc. This was the Stainless Steel Nun.

And it is a fact universally acknowledged that an old Goth in possession of three bucks must be in want of a carven representative of the spirit of a vengeful, unquenchable female spirit.

So that’s the story.

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