Many and varied are the service pieces that we here at the ol’ raincoaster blog consider posting for the benefit of our many and varied readership, but among them certain universal qualities recur. The piece must be practical at the bedrock level. It must be actionable, easy to put into practice. It must appeal to our readers as applying directly to their lives and impacting those lives in a positive way, once implemented.

This blog post from CelebrityCosmeticSurgery meets all of those criteria. How to change your appearance via plastic surgery if you’re a terrorist on the run. Now that is what I call Servicey! Thousands of our readers can apply this directly to their lives and greatly reduce their stress level immediately, or at least once the bandages come off.

I think the one thing that would change a man’s appearance the most if the growing or removal of facial hair. After this, I would have to say maybe a rhinoplasty? (See Michael Jackson and Ashlee Simpson). Or possibly a browlift (see Greta Van Susteran).

To this, we with our awareness of those tricksy law enforcement peeps, would add fingerprint grafts (does not require actual dead body, just de-handsed one; I recommend Saudi Arabia for its large surplus of freshly severed hands) a la that South American drug lord who had more work done than Joan Rivers and finally expired on the operating table during a routine facelift which he’d undergone because he liked his new looks just that much and wanted to look after them.

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