Prince Philip sez cough, please
Breaking…
so to speak.
Contrary to rumours and a front-page article in the London Evening Standard (what kind if standard is that? I ask yez) Queen Elizabeth II‘s superannuated boytoy Prince Consort Prince Philip‘s prostate is in fact and in actuality fully-functional.
From Reuters:
We now accept that the story was untrue and that he is not suffering from any such condition,” the Evening Standard said.
“We unreservedly apologize both to him and to his family for making this distressing allegation and for breaching his privacy.”
Although I understand there’s a woman in France who could have just told them.
raincoaster 
It is hardly newsworthy to report that a story in the Standard lacks veracity. If they were ever to report anything accurately then it would be truly startling.
Philip asked me to pass on his best wishes, and does not hold you responsible for the little health scare that had doctors peering into his rectum.
That’s sweet. Now, can I have one of his grandsons? They’re decorative!