Cthulhu Collects

You think you’ve got it bad NOW? Imagine being audited by the ravening, tentacled mass of malevolent, soul-killing protoplasm which is the Great Cthulhu.

You think he’ll allow those pub crawl receipts? Do ya, punk?

Cthulhu comes to collect

Cthulhu comes to collect

via Pete Quily

25 thoughts on “Cthulhu Collects

  1. i don’t know if you read it, but commissioned comic is featuring the hero “o” (who is also the artist/creator of the comic) as a “ninja” (and yes, the quotes are appropriate) and a zombie cthulhu. in fact, that ninja cthulhu makes yearly appearances around halloween. you should check it out.

  2. Honey, listen. Didn’t you ever wonder why it is the men who like tentacles? The women–not so much. Suction cups–huh uh. Less is more, I think. Besides–Why would I want 10 feet? 10 inches maybe, but 10 feet?

    Plus, I thought fishy was bad.

    If it’s your fetish I’ll respect that, but have you ever tried to put a condom on one of those?

  3. Honey, sweetie, darling, I’ve never known any men with tentacle fetishes. I think you need to recalibrate your Match.com settings if you’re running into them a lot.

  4. Apparently you have not explored asian porn. I actually don’t touch internet dating. Tentacle fetishes are only the beginning there. Or, since this is the internet I guess I should say “here”.

  5. Oh Rain. We’ve known each other for how long? You know I would not lie to you. You have, my dear friend, just proven my earlier observation: “If it’s your fetish I’ll respect that” and hence my other earlier observation that there is a fair swath of males who have cthulhu/tentacle fetishes.

    It’s okay. I still love you. I have known many men with all sorts of fetishes and let’s just say you cthulhu types are nothing if not humorous. I say embrace your fetish with pride, which as you say this site demonstrates you do, and go forward.

    Now since we have that all straightened out, I’ll leave the asian porn to you. The last bit I witnessed featured a warehouse full of 500 young asian couples all having synchronized sex. It sounded like a swarm of locusts destroying the Earth. I’m serious. I ran screaming and then promptly vowed to never peek at internet porn again, which I didn’t until the next day.

    It’s a kind of S&M for me, what can I say. I’ll spare you what sent me running and screaming yesterday. I still get vomit in my mouth when I think of it.

  6. Ah–foiled. If you are not a male, then your are undoubtedly either a female, or intersex, or neither sex as some prefer to be called.

    It’s okay though. I still love you. I just have to adjust my preconceived notions of your tentacle predilection. No problem.

    Either way, I still find your eye creepy, and that is not gender dependent.

  7. True: it’s an Eagle Moon Eye, which I commisshioned from an artist to be my own personal logo.

    But to clarify: I’m not a member of the clergy, so that rules out No Sex At All. Although there have been dry spells…

  8. Well then, it is either female or intersex. Splendid. Either way, you wear your Eagle Moon Eye in a rather fetching manner. Not that I am flirting with you, or anything. I mean, with all we’ve been through together.

    Dry spells tend to cause chafing, which is most annoying. I don’t recommend them to anyone.

  9. Gin is best described as “panty remover”…But I guess social lubricant works too.

    Sorry to interrupt the love in…I just always comment when Cthulhu is involved. Where this blog is concerned, that’s my fetish…

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