Ladies and Gentlemen, the fine, and near-forgotten, art of Chair Dancing, is sadly overlooked in the realm of vicarious pleasures deemed suitable for reality television. Crocheting with the Has-Beens? Sure. Chair Dancing with the Hotties from the Office Upstairs That You’re Not Sure What They Do But It Must Be Software, They’re All So Young? Not a chance.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a damn shame. Because, in an Orwellian world, chairdancing is freedom. They can take away our Aeron Chairs and replace them with crappy stationary ripoffs from Ikea, but they cannot take away our ability to bop mindlessly to Backstreet Boys while remaining seated. Because this, ladies and gentlemen, yes this is chairdancing in the Twenty-First Century Anno Domini:
It’s come so far! Remember the video that started the craze, way back in the last century2004?
Why are they all wearing trainers to chair dance?
They are TRAINED athletes!
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Looks more like they have to urinate desperately but don’t want to miss the end of the TV show . . .
WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR MILD LUMBAR PAIN.
Seems more like an opiate for the masses of cellulite hanging over the sides – wait, that’s me . . .
And me, sadly. God, the one thing about public speaking is, when the pictures show up it tells instantly who’s been going to the gym and who hasn’t. Unmarketing? You could bounce quarters off his pecs.
Actually, that would be a fun party game.