Yes, “the wilds of Britain.” See what I did there?
According to the UK paper of record for Ecologically Sensitive Courtesy Titles, the UK is harbouring a fugitive and desperate band of elk rustlers.
PC Jackie Poole, who is leading the hunt, said: “This is an unusual theft and would have required a vehicle, and probably quite a bit of time, to complete. I would ask people in the area at the time to cast their mind back and see if they remember seeing anything suspicious.
Under “Anything suspicious” we must list the above, a moose impersonating an elk in the Guardian. Could the paper have a vested interest in confusing the issue and preventing innocent Somersettians from recognizing an actual elk when they see one?
Hmmm, one wonders…what are they serving in the executive dining room at the Grauniad this week, eh?
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“The animal bearing the scientific name Alces alces is known in Britain as the ‘elk’, and in North America as the ‘moose’.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moose
I thought _everybody_ knew that.
But nobody raises moose for meat; they’re too dangerous! Nonetheless you have succeeded in boggling my mind.
Dangerous? Hold on just a minute there, missy! Just because they’re huge (up to 1500 lbs) doesn’t make them bad. Cattle and pigs pose a bigger risk to people.
“Moose: They are generally timid but can occasionally attack when agitated… [The two cases cited were cows with calves fending off dogs and the owners got trampled.] The real threat from moose is when they cross a highway, posing a risk to motorists. When a car travelling 100 km/h hits a 700-kilogram male moose, the resulting crash can easily be fatal for the driver, if not the animal.” – CBC News http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2011/08/31/list-animals-that-attack.html
On behalf of moose-lovers everywhere, I demand an apology. Harrumph.
You won’t get one. Moose are well-known to be mean motherfuckers. They have attacked BUILDINGS for god’s sake.