Mutant Elk caught in the wilds of Britain

Yes, “the wilds of Britain.” See what I did there?

The Guardian captions this "An elk." Time to stop hiring inbred photo interns, no matter how dazzling their connections.

The Guardian captions this “An elk.” Time to stop hiring inbred photo interns, no matter how dazzling their connections.

According to the UK paper of record for Ecologically Sensitive Courtesy Titles, the UK is harbouring a fugitive and desperate band of elk rustlers.

PC Jackie Poole, who is leading the hunt, said: “This is an unusual theft and would have required a vehicle, and probably quite a bit of time, to complete. I would ask people in the area at the time to cast their mind back and see if they remember seeing anything suspicious.

Under “Anything suspicious” we must list the above, a moose impersonating an elk in the Guardian. Could the paper have a vested interest in confusing the issue and preventing innocent Somersettians from recognizing an actual elk when they see one?

Hmmm, one wonders…what are they serving in the executive dining room at the Grauniad this week, eh?

Dear United Kingdom, this is what elks look like:

Real Elks, duh

Real Elks, duh

5 thoughts on “Mutant Elk caught in the wilds of Britain

  1. Pingback: Afternoon Links: Mariah Carey To Quit American Idol Over Nicki Minaj Feud?

  2. But nobody raises moose for meat; they’re too dangerous! Nonetheless you have succeeded in boggling my mind.

  3. Dangerous? Hold on just a minute there, missy! Just because they’re huge (up to 1500 lbs) doesn’t make them bad. Cattle and pigs pose a bigger risk to people.

    “Moose: They are generally timid but can occasionally attack when agitated… [The two cases cited were cows with calves fending off dogs and the owners got trampled.] The real threat from moose is when they cross a highway, posing a risk to motorists. When a car travelling 100 km/h hits a 700-kilogram male moose, the resulting crash can easily be fatal for the driver, if not the animal.” – CBC News

    On behalf of moose-lovers everywhere, I demand an apology. Harrumph.

  4. You won’t get one. Moose are well-known to be mean motherfuckers. They have attacked BUILDINGS for god’s sake.

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