Hollywood: A Primer

High Concept, Low Life ExpectancyNow this book is a fun read, particularly if you’re the least bit vicarious, and some of us have been known to vicariate, although perhaps only late at night, after a few drinks.

Because god knows, you’d never live through it.

High Concept, a biography of Don Simpson and an examination of the fatal cost of Hollywood self-indulgence, escapes beach-read status because it’s both non-fiction and wickedly well-written.

But enough reviewspeak, to the snippets!

“The entertainment industry does not require any thing of its inside people other than an ability to produce hit movies. It doesn’t ask its employees to be intelligent, educated, decent, honorable, fair, good-looking or ethical or ethnical: It only asks that they produce income-generating product.

And, as it does not require intelligence, education, decency, honor or fairness, neither does it reward those qualities. Hollywood is the place where one can overhear dialogue such as this, one morning at the Four Seasons Hotel:

Man #1: “You’re lying! You’re lying to me!”

Man #2: “Yes, I know. But hear me out.”

I love that quote. He’ll go far, that lad.

And now, for our more pharmacalogically-aware readers (more numerous than you think! Pharmacists are everywhere!) we present this toxicology roundup, a freakin’ fiesta of pharmaceuticals, from after Simpson’s death:

Simpson…was on a regimen that includeed multiple daily injections of Toradol, for pain; Librium, to control his mood swings; Ativan, every six hours, for agitation; Valium, every sic hours, for anxiety; Depakote, every six hours, to counter “acute mania”; Thorazine, every four hours, for anxiety; and lorazepam, every six hours, also for anxiety. He was also taking, in pill and tablet form, additional doses of Valium, plus the pain relievers Vicodin, diphenoxylate, diphenhydramine and Colonadine, plus the medications lithium carbonate, nystatin, Narcan, haloperidol, Promethazine, Benztropine, Unisom, Atarax, Compazine, Xanax, Desyrel, Tigan and phenobarbitol

One ten-day period in August 1995 shows Simpson’s pharmacy expenses at $38,600…

Police and coroner documents also show that Simpson was experimenting with prescription doese of morphine, Seconal, and gamma hydroxybutyrate, or GHB. These medications were being ingested, autopsy reports would show, in addition to large quantities of alcohol and cocaine

More ominously, Simpson was using heroin.

“More ominously” indeed. Cuz the rest of that stuff you can pop like Pez, eh? Given that they use carbs like cornstarch to bulk up pills, I think I can figure out why Simpson weighed three hundred pounds.

Streaming Eagle Cam 2.0: Baby Eagles in Colorado

Eaglet Alert! More bloody birds! But at least this camera's not overloaded like the one in BC. Three chicks in Fort St. Vrain in Platteville, Colorado. BC ones due any day now; there's some controversy over whether or not markings on the eggs are the eaglets trying to get out.

OT: Who the hell is St. Vrain?

Gawd, I can't believe I'm posting this. I'm really much more interested in Giant Squid, but there aren't many Giant Squid cams. And they're hell on hits! Anyway, those are ugly-ass eagle chicks; quick, somebody Fark me!

Streaming! Eagle! Cam!

Welcome to the Blogroll: Manolo’s Shoeblog (of Evil)

There's just nothing I can add to this that would make it better. It is perfection. And a warning. Beware the Lagerfeld!

What did the world do before fashion journalism was this funny?

The World Gone Mad

Manolo says, the Manolo asks you, perhaps rhetorically, has the entire world gone mad for evil? Does no one but the Manolo see the truth?

It is not as if there is not the evidence.

For the example look at this from the Asian newspaper.

Then a frisson of excitement ripples through the gaggle hovering about the entrance. Lagerfeld is coming! The anticipation is almost schoolgirl-ish.

He comes marching through in boots, lean black trousers, powder-white ponytail and a brocade jacket, like a veteran rock star.
Evil, Right: Toady
Lagerfeld is also gone in a flash, with his black-clad entourage like a dark plume of smoke.

It is the common trope of the diabolical: first anticipation of the celebrity of evil, then the dramatic appearance in dark clothing, accompanied by the phalanx of toadies, and then, suddenly…poof! Vanishment in the cloud of smoke!All that is missing is the strong smell of brimstone.

Brimstone? Perhaps brimstone well masked.

Here is more, this time from the Robin Givhan of the recent Pulitzer.

Before the eyes settle on his attire, the nose takes note. Lagerfeld smells vaguely floral, with a hint of powder. He has spritzed himself with Iris Nobile by Acqua di Parma. It is a woman’s fragrance owned by LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton, the same company that controls Fendi.

Yes, evil, but flowery feminine evil, the scent of mortal decay covered by the cloying smell of the tube roses.

Such evil, it preens, it struts.

He walks chest forward and with short strides. An observer, who happened to catch one of Lagerfeld’s television appearances, describes his walk as a “Prince meets Ron Wood pimpalicious strut.”

Pimpalicioius?

Vampiricious!

Even those who would toady up to the Lagerfeld are “unsettled” by his mere proximity.

“He’s an authentic genius,” says Peter Marx, president of Saks Jandel, who has known Lagerfeld for 20 years. “There’s something unsettling and special about him.”

Meaning, he gives one the impression that one is being fitted for the shroud.

Brazilliant Gizoogling: a clash of cultures

Snoop Doggy DogFrom The Times. Of course, The Times isn't exactly the paper of record for most of the people who care the most about this story, so for the benefit of Snoop fans everywhere (Snooptologists?), we have taken the liberty of running the story through Gizoogle. Behold:

Rap stizzar held gangsta po-po is hizzy in airport fiznight
By Devika Bhat

SNOOP Dizzle was releazed F-R-to-tha-izzom po-po custody witout charge yesterday afta a fight at Heathrow in W-H-to-tha-izzich seven po-po offica were injured dogg.

The American rappa, whose real nizzle is Calvin Broadus, was arrested wit five shot calla of his entourage fo` violent disorda n affray baller an argument over admission ta a first-class lounge. Afta nearly 24 hours spizzent in a po-po C-to-tha-izzell, he was granted bizzle n driven out of Heathrow po-po station pimpin' sunglasses n draped in a blue blanket.

He is claimed ta have screamed at stizzay n thrown bottles of duty-free whisky cracka his 30-strong entourage was refused entry ta tha British Airways lounge at Terminal 1. Only three wizzle said ta hold first-class tickets. All were subsequently refused entry ta they aircraft n banned F-R-to-tha-izzom travell'n wit BA . Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

Police were called n wizzle escort'n tha group away wizzle anotha disturbance broke out . Chill as I take you on a trip. One of tha brotha suffered a broken hand n otha had cuts n bruises.

Airport staff claimed tizzy a minda thriznew a policizzle across a room as more thiznan 20 poser tried ta restrain tha group. The entourage was reported ta have bizzy squirted wit peppa spray before tha 34-year-old baller was arrested wit fizzy otha men.

Scotland Yard told The Times T-H-to-tha-izzat six US citizens had bizzle taken into custody at a po-po station in West London . Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.. A spokesman said: “At: 6pm on Wednesday po-po wizzy alerted ta a group of approximately 30 thugz caus'n a disturbance in a business lounge at Terminal 1 of Heathrow airport . Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. We understand thizzat tha group had been told by an airline that they would not be permitted ta board a flight. Pimp attended n attempted ta direct tha group ta baggage reclaim fo my bling bling. Gangsta of tha group tizzle became abusive n pushed officers.”

An airport employee, who asked not ta be named, said: “There: wizzy all these huge 20-stone men smash'n up display cabinets n throw'n thugz around. I saw Snoop Dizzle on tha ground wit four po-po try'n ta put him in handcuffs. His drug deala were straight trippin' bottles of duty-free at people like a motha fucka. Then tha po-po used peppa spray on them.”

A BA spokesman said afta tha incident: “It: is witin our wanna be gangsta ta ban them fo` life n they certainly wizzle not be straight trippin' wit us in tha nizzle future.”

The fracas wizzill be mizzle tizzy an inconvenience fo` Snoop Dogg, who was in transit F-R-to-tha-izzom Los Angeles n was due ta fly ta Johannizzles fo` a gig last nizzay bitch ass nigga. Concerts is also scheduled fo` Durban n Cape Tizzown bitch ass nigga.

Dizzy DAYS

Grizzew up in Long Beach, Califizzle n became an associate of tha LA Crips gizzy . They call me tha black folks president. He has been convicted of drug deal'n

In 1993 he was tried n acquitted of cracka n found fame thizzay year wit his debut album Doggystyle

Recently he featured in several Hollywood films, trippin' Starsky n Hiznutch , n was invited ta speak at tha Oxford Union

Job Vacancy: MI6

Bond. James Bond.Spy services the world over are becoming desperate. The CIA has advertised, insisting, with steel-spined obstinacy, that you not have a history of hard drug use within the last five years.

Now the UK joins the “c’mon peeps, help us out here” stakes with their advertisement for spies. It really has been too long between Bond movies. James Bond wants me? A dream come true…

A Career in SIS

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