shiver me timbers, it’s the worst pirate video ever!

What makes it so bad? It’s not just that they’re gay pirates. It’s that they’re gay, crudely-made, gospel-spouting, whiteboy-rappin’, lame-dancin’ pirates.

From Ooblog, via Fark.

It’s got everything: crappy music, worse dancing, puppets, pirates, Christian rap. Words cannot describe it.

Update, Sep. 12, 2006: Favorite comment: “Can’t sleep, the puppets will eat me. “

Even Stevphens: Colbert vs Carell solve religion

Stolen from Metro, who stole it from someone else. Colbert and Carell solve that whole “my imaginary friend is better than yours” thang in three minutes. We note as well that it has been favorited 666 times. UPDATE: It’s been kilt. But I found you a new one instead during the temporary amnesty brought on by the well-deserved avalanche of fanhaterade on Comedy Central:

UPDATE TO UPDATE: It’s been un-kilt, so I put it below the bonus one I uploaded. The first is the best of Even Stevphens, the second is Christianity vs Islam.

UPDATE TO UPDATE TO UPDATE: Comedy Central needs a fucking enema. Steven? Stephen? Email me.

“The Web interprets censorship as damage and routes around it”
John Seabrook

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Technorati me!

religious persecution and the founding of America

Gore Vidal's AmericaNot what you think.

Fortean Times is the go-to site on the Internet for all your Gore Vidal quotation needs, as all the literati know (particularly since the New Yorker went all Kato Kaelin/Beyonce/Roseanne Barr), and the On This Day entry for today is perhaps the finest example thereof.

6 September. The Pilgrim Fathers set sail from Plymouth on this day in 1620. Gore Vidal one remarked that they left England ‘not because they were persecuted for their religious beliefs, but because they were forbidden to persecute others for their beliefs.’

Well that would explain a great deal.

antiwar video: December Skies

From the Cowboy Junkies and Jesus’ General.

and from the comments:

From an interview with the Cowboy Junkies’ Michael Timmons:
[snip]
“…It is a stark and brutal idea: the celebration of war, so endemic in our society, is akin to celebrating the killing of our children. So I wrote the song with that context in mind. After I wrote it, I realized that there were many more layers to the song and idea…
[snip]
The other layer was a bit more subtle. The title of the song refers to the rising of the Star of Bethlehem in the December sky. The Star of Bethlehem heralded the coming of Jesus and his message of peace and love and good will toward our fellow man (a message that seems to be completely lost in these times). But it also struck me that, according to Christians, Jesus was sent by his Father to die for our sins. Another father sending his child off to die for what he perceives is the greater good…”

religion makes you crazy: sociopathy and Christianity

Bundy may have thought it’s cool, but we might have an issue with this. Bundy was, if memory serves, raised a Baptist, and his mother was waaaaaay over to the “nutty-devout” end of the scale. This in itself may not have caused his craziness, but it did lead her to completely deceive him about whether she was his mother or his sister, and as anyone who knows anything about gender-associated homicidal maniacs knows, this is not good. The only person I know of who survived something like this and didn’t turn into some kind of Willy Pickton figure is Jack Nicholson, and nobody would say he’s anybody’s idea of a role model.

So, does religion make you crazy? Let’s look at this article from Humanist Studies. No idea where I stole this from…what does that say about me? At least I’m not religious!

Why can’t we all be Japanese?

Religion fosters bad behavior
COLUMN By MARTIN FOREMAN
From God would be an atheist
First published Nov. 12, 2005

Several weeks ago, a ground-breaking study on religious belief and social well-being was published in the Journal of Religion & Society. Comparing 18 prosperous democracies from the U.S. to New Zealand, author Gregory S Paul quietly demolished the myth that faith strengthens society.

Drawing on a wide range of studies to cross-match faith – measured by belief in God and acceptance of evolution – with homicide and sexual behavior, Paul found that secular societies have lower rates of violence and teenage pregnancy than societies where many people profess belief in God.

Top of the class, in both atheism and good behavior, come the Japanese. Over eighty percent accept evolution and fewer than ten percent are certain that God exists. Despite its size – over a hundred million people – Japan is one of the least crime-prone countries in the world. It also has the lowest rates of teenage pregnancy of any developed nation.

(Teenage pregnancy has less tragic consequences than violence but it is usually unwanted, and it is frequently associated with deprivation among both mothers and children. In general, it is a Bad Thing.)

Next in line are the Norwegians, British, Germans and Dutch. At least sixty percent accept evolution as a fact and fewer than one in three are convinced that there is a deity. There is little teenage pregnancy , although the Brits, with over 40 pregnancies per 1,000 girls a year, do twice as badly as the others. Homicide rates are also low — around 1-2 victims per 100,000 people a year.

At the other end of the scale comes America. Over 50 percent of Americans believe in God, and only 40 percent accept some form of evolution (many believe it had a helping hand from the Deity). The U.S. has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy and homicide rates are at least five times greater than in Europe and ten times higher than in Japan.

All this information points to a strong correlation between faith and antisocial behavior — a correlation so strong that there is good reason to suppose that religious belief does more harm than good.

At first glance that is a preposterous suggestion, given that religions preach non-violence and sexual restraint. However, close inspection reveals a different story. Faith tends to weaken rather than strengthen people’s ability to participate in society. That makes it less likely they will respect social customs and laws.

All believers learn that God holds them responsible for their actions. So far so good, but for many, belief absolves them of all other responsibilities. Consciously or subconsciously, those who are “born again” or “chosen” have diminished respect for others who do not share their sect or their faith. Convinced that only the Bible offers “truth”, they lose their intellectual curiosity and their ability to reason. Their priority becomes not the world they live in but themselves.

The more people prioritize themselves rather than those around them, the weaker society becomes and the greater the likelihood of antisocial behavior. Hence gun laws which encourage Americans to see each other not as fellow human beings who deserve protection, but as potential aggressors who deserve to die. And hence a health care system which looks after the wealthy rather than the ill.

As for sex… Faith encourages ignorance rather than responsible behavior. In other countries, sex education includes contraception, reducing the risk of unwanted pregnancies. Such an approach recognizes that young people have the right to make their own choices and helps them make decisions that benefit society as a whole. In America faith-driven abstinence programs deny them that right — “As a Christian I will only help you if you do what I say“. The result is soaring rates of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

Abstinence programs rest on the same weak intellectual foundation as creationism and intelligent design. Faith discourages unprejudiced analysis. Reasoning is subverted to rationalization that supports rather than questions assumptions. The result is a self-contained system that maintains an internal logic, no matter how absurd to outside observers.

The constitutional wall that theoretically separates church and state is irrelevant. Religion has overwhelmed the nation to permeate all public discussion. Look no further than Gary Bauer, a man who in any other western nation would be dismissed as a fanatic and who in America is interviewed deferentially on prime time television.

Despite all its fine words, religion has brought in its wake little more than violence, prejudice and sexual disease. True morality is found elsewhere. As UK Guardian columnist George Monbiot concluded in his review of Gregory Paul’s study,if you want people to behave as Christians advocate, you should tell them that God does not exist.”

I might express that another way. The flip side of Monbiot‘s argument is that God would be an atheist…

Martin Foreman is the author of “God would be an atheist,” a syndicated print column. For information about syndicating this column, visit www.godwouldbeanatheist.com to contact the author.