Category Archives: Entertainment

more canuck madness: The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

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Yes, it’s the well-beloved classic from the Arrogant Worms, as enacted by a group of landlocked Canuckistani teenagers. These guys are evidently so Saskatchewani that they can’t even find a puddle to use as a backdrop, and make do with a playground and some barns instead. All in the adaptive, piratical spirit of the original, it must be admitted.

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

I used to be a farmer and I made a livin’ fine
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times went by and though I tried the money wasn’t there
And bankers came and took my land and told me fair is fair
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they always laughed, “We just let twenty go!”
The government they promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I’m going to be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan….
Arrrrrgh!

Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are aquiver
‘Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay

Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He’d follow on the shoreline but he didn’t own a boat
But cutbacks were a comin’ and the mountie lost his job
So now he’s sailin’ with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin’ sword, a scull ‘n’ bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the G.S.T. (screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you want to reach the Co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well pirate life’s appealing but you don’t just find it here
I’ve heard that in Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
You’re gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well winter is a comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over when the river starts to freeze
I’ll be back in spring time, but now I have to go
I heard there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico

Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

podcast 1.0: Canuckistani

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God, I hope I don’t get to liking this succeeding at this; I’m already online so damned much I’m thinking of getting a “Hubba Hubba Heinie” mold for my computer chair. No time for yoga, dammit! Don’t worry, it’s not as if I have anything to say anyway.

This is the South-West passage, but you get the idea

[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/2001676/view]

Steve Irwin death video will not be broadcast

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That about sums it up.

In an interview with Baba Wawa on 20/20, Terri Irwin has said that she will not release the video footage of her husband’s death by stingray. This article comes from the BBC, via Trenchcoat Chronicles.

“What purpose would that serve?” she asked presenter Barbara Walters in an interview with US programme 20/20…

His wife … insisted his death was just a “stupid” accident – “like running with a pencil”…

The 42-year-old mother of two said her late husband knew he would not live a long life.

“He’d talk about it often,” she said. “But it wasn’t because of any danger from wildlife. He just felt life could be dangerous.”

As I said before, the wishes of the dead are to be respected, but not neccessarily obeyed. The film belongs to Terri Irwin and the film company, and it is their right to decide what happens to it.

Here is the tribute speech to Irwin by his daughter, Bindi Sue, who has her own television show. He was actually getting footage of the stingray for her when he died. She’s already stated that she has no intention of giving up on the show, but considers it carrying on the family legacy. Those are big boots to fill, kid, but judging from this it looks like you’re off to a good start.

eh! to zed: a Canadian podcast

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Does Odeo have a fast forward button? I’m really not feeling the iTunes monologue, but am desperate to try this Odeo thang, and me luves me some Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, good Canadian content, so here it is.

Gee, am I CRTC approvable now? If I can figure out how to do this and liberate a microphone in the name of the people, maybe I’ll make my own.

[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/388089/view]

Crowe on Irwin: appalling

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 irwinshark

Make of this what you will. Personally, if I’d been an Aussie, I’d have died to portray Steve Irwin. Russell Crowe apparently feels differently.

Actor Russell Crowe called reports that he may play “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin in a film biography of Irwin‘s life “appalling,” he told CNN’s “Showbiz Tonight.”

“This is my friend,” Crowe told “Showbiz Tonight” anchor A.J. Hammer during an interview for Crowe’s new film, “A Good Year.” “All right? He just died. We’ve dealt with his funeral, we’ve dealt with a memorial to him. You know?

“I’m not doing business over the grave of my friend. I find that appalling. But, you know, that’s not just in the tabloid[s]. That’s in The Guardian, its in The New York Times. Understand? Absolutely disgusting.”