Asked about his time with Harper at the National Citizens Coalition, Nicholls said: "I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he in that time eat a baby."
Another nondenial denial in l'affaire Stephen Harper Eats Babies. And the Brits think they've got scandals! Bloody amateurs, that's what I call 'em!
According to this National Geographic article, most Americans may be vaguely or acutely aware that illegal immigrants exist, but they have no fucking clue where these people are coming from.
Take Iraq, for example. Despite nearly constant news coverage since the war there began in 2003, 63 percent of Americans aged 18 to 24 failed to correctly locate the country on a map of the Middle East. Seventy percent could not find Iran or Israel.
Nine in ten couldn’t find Afghanistan on a map of Asia.
Who’s with me in thinking the remaining ten percent have served over there? I mean, I’m sure some of the soldiers come back, right? Alive?
Anyway, looking at it from a totally selfish perspective, it’s a good thing. Not only will it eventually bring to a halt American Imperialist expansion, once the (miniscule) current generation of geography-erati die out, but it also effectively prevents them from invading Alberta for oil or Vancouver for drugs. As Rick Mercer said, just take our name off the map index and they’ll NEVER FIND US!
Transcript of late-night phonecall to an anonymous geographer:
Yes, Mister President. No, no, I was awake anyway. What? Uh…yes sir. Yes sir. Ummmmmm…well maybe not, sir. No sir, I’m sorry but I can’t give you the coordinates. Yes sir, I’m aware that it’s rich in natural resources. Yes sir, I’m aware that the people there do not recognize Our Lord, Jesus Christ as the savior. Well sir, it’s just that Y’ha-nthlei is a fictional construct. Pretend, sir. It’s pretend.
I love stories like these.
Seems some perv in his thirties tried to grab 14-year-old Brittney Richardson, and she took her brown belt in karate and she whupped his sad, sorry ass.
Go Xena!
I mean Brittney!
"I turned and I hit him," she says. "I just knocked this guy out."
She immediately ran away, and called police.
Her instructors couldn't be prouder. "Brittney did exactly, step by step, what we teach," said Amanda Christensen. "This fella found out you don't mess with her."
"Karate is the best thing that's ever happened in my life," she says. "I have to say that my training has been very effective."
Although Brittney will have a black belt in one year, she says in many respects she's a typical teenage girl. "I'm the girl that's into boys, likes to talk on the phone, paints my nails," she says.
Her would-be attacker has not yet been found. He's described as a white man in his 30's, with bleached blonde hair, and blue eyes.
And two testicles that are probably retracted so far you can see them when he opens his mouth.
It's funny. I am an anti-war leftie, and that leads many people to conclude (quite incorrectly) that I oppose violence. I don't. Too Irish. I oppose oppression. So while I post against parents beating their children so hard as to leave marks for god's sake, I am highly in favour of children beating would-be rapists hard enough to leave permanent psychic scars. I don't do so out of any misguided belief that this will make the criminals better human beings, but out of a belief that if they get their asses handed to them enough times it will stop them from raping children. If only we could find something that would stop parents from assaulting them as well.
Societal behaviourism: it's a good thing.
'I'm offering $10G for my sister's
head'
A Canadian family struggling with a bizarre mystery has finally broken down and offered a reward. They'll give $10,000 for any information that leads to the return of their sister's head.
Sploid has the scoop. Somewhere in Montreal is a pathetic, self-abusing goth vandal using the head of an innocent woman as a decorative object. Now, I enjoy Baudelarian verse as much as the next person, but you're supposed to get your trophies from the willing, not the mundanes. Give the head back and nobody gets hurt. Bitch.
raincoaster 