The Horror! The Horror!

I cannot even hint what it was like, for it was a compound of all that is unclean, uncanny, unwelcome, abnormal, and detestable. It was the ghoulish shade of decay, antiquity, and dissolution; the putrid, dripping eidolon of unwholesome revelation, the awful baring of that which the merciful earth should always hide. God knows it was not of this world – or no longer of this world – yet to my horror I saw in its eaten-away and bone-revealing outlines a leering, abhorrent travesty on the human shape; and in its mouldy, disintegrating apparel an unspeakable quality that chilled me even more.
HP Lovecraft, The Outsider

So, today I was shopping for a bathing suit and…

Summer Saturday

Married To The Sea
marriedtothesea.com

Quiz: how scary are you?

See, I didn’t cheat at all on this one and STILL got a perfectly accurate result.


You Are Scary


You even scare scary people sometimes!

Disaster!

Perhaps I may be ever so slightly melodramatic, but I blame California (doesn’t everyone blame California, no matter what we’re talking about? It’s your choice of California, Tories, or Global Warming where I come from). After all, they started it. How is anyone else supposed to make the news when they’re all, like, “Earthquake! Earthquake!”

I mean, I was all, “Yeah, it’s California. It’s not a headline: it’s a given.”

But whatever.

So tonight I went out for a nice skate with a nice bunch of people and it was…nice, despite the fact that I was, once again, the slowest in the group and didn’t even have the excuse of a hangover to blame, although it must be said and indeed will be said, and by none other than me, that my bearings have long since turned to rubble and need replacing. Should a couple more someones sign up for my blogging classes I might be able to buy some new ones next month in the Comor sale, but that is as may be, or may not be.

But whatever.

So, I get the skate in and have a good time and on my way home as I’m calmly skating along, both minding my own business and sticking to the so-called cycle-pedestrian “path” under Canada Place, a “path” distinguished primarily by two painted lines and a texture something like the surface of Mars, when what happens?

I thought you’d never ask.

The Earth Moved for MissRFTC

So, today on Twitter:

Twitter Vagina?

Twitter Vagina?

Okay, now someone please explain to me why, in the absence of specific Twitted information to that effect, everyone in the world, from Gawker to Valleywag to (briefly) the HuffPo, has concluded that she was having a pelvic exam.

All she actually said was, the doctor was in her vagina.

I’m thinking those people know much less about nooners and doctors than I do, and I say it’s 50/50 if you know what I mean.