Don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that!
I’ve been sitting on this for days (and boy, is my butt tired)(and smelly) because I thought it was totally fake.
Piglet Squid? Underwater geofeatures that look like naked women? I swear to god, I thought the Piglet Squid was some kinda Disney character, brought to life through the intervention of someone with Photoshop and too damn much time on his/her hands. What can I say, I never watched Saving Nemo…or was it Finding Private Ryan? Whatever, I never saw either of them. I ain’t seen Casablanca yet!
Imagine, if you will (or can) my mortification when I discover that the Piglet Squid is, in fact, a perfectly normal, if teensy, cephalopod that lives in the sea off Nigeria. Oh! The shame! I shall be laying off the calamari and buying live seafood in Chinatown for free-setting purposes in penance. Do tilapia do well in Burrard Inlet?
In any case, these are totally real photographs and (highly cool) video from the BP Kongsberg Underwater Image Competition. Do not miss the video section; bizarrerie of this magnitude does not come along every day, at least not without the use of expensive and debilitiating pharmaceuticals.
Godzilla! And on McSweeney’s, no less.
He must have a much better agent than I do, the bastidge! Even though I am consumed with jealousy, I shall graciously extend the Squid tag to Godzilla, as he is just so frickin’ cool. His Lizardness is Honorary Calamari Grande.
June 8—Confused today about my place in this world. Am I the protector of Tokyo or the destroyer? Sometimes I just don’t know. I’ve smashed more than my share of buildings, but I’ve also vanquished a ton of other monsters. Therapist suggests these vanquishings have more to do with me staking my claim to my territory and with feelings of vulnerability when challenged than with playing the hero role. Must remember to stop putting off smashing of therapist’s office building. Also, mixed reactions of Japanese add to confusion. Which is it—”Oh, no! Godzilla! Run!” or “Thank goodness, Godzilla will save us from Rodan”?
June 9—It’s my weekend to have Minilla. The divorce still hits me pretty hard, but these weekend visitations are always uplifting. Of course, I always get some crap from Helen on Mondays about my parenting methods. “I don’t approve of you teaching him the fire-breath attack at such a young age, and I definitely don’t approve of you stomping on his tail when he couldn’t do it right away.” Will she ever understand that Mothra isn’t going to wait until a certain age to attack? That kid needs to be ready now.
This is an incredible piece of video. It has long been a mystery as to what the Giant Squid actually eats. Here we can see for ourselves.
Don’t faint, children!
Half-baked, anyway. I suggest a scientific name Carlin Cheechinigus, but that’s subject to (dis-) approval.
This hallucinogenic beauty was caught off the coast of Maine, so the possibility exists that he was just on his way back from a wild party on the Gaspe, which would explain why he still looks half-baked.
Although it no doubt has an ironclad alibi. It’s underage, too, as are some of its most vociferous fans. Here is the report from the Bangor newspaper:
“Dude, it’s half orange and half, like, regular color for a lobster,” exclaimed Alyssa Bonin, 12, of Webster, Mass.
Sharp eyes there, Alyssa. Maybe a little bloodshot from the sounds of things, but still, sharp.
Mills intends to keep the two-toned lobster over the winter and have him on display for educational purposes, though he has no plans to name him.
“Lobsters are interesting but not personable,” he said.
We at the raincoaster blog beg, of course, to differ. Even our on the one hand shall not know what our on the other hand is doing
The rare 1-pound crustacean, caught earlier this week in Steuben, is a genetic mutation with a two-toned shell.
One side is the usual mottled dark green. The other side is the orange-red shade of a lobster that’s already spent some time in the hot pot.
The odds of this kind of mutation occurring are very rare – something like one in 50 million to 100 million, according to oceanarium staff. The chance of finding a blue lobster is far more common, at one in a million.
“Isn’t he pretty?” Bette Spurling of Southwest Harbor cooed Thursday as she stroked the lobster’s shell to calm him down.
Now that is the proper way to treat an addled celebrity. Not at all the way Jon Stewart did with the poor, hapless and handsome Butterscotch Stallion here (heartlessly stolen from Defamer):
raincoaster 