Australia, guardian of culture, land of language. Too right it is!

Or not, as the case may be. The case:Dingo Boy

Australia's conservative government has said it is considering testing immigrants' English skills and their understanding of Australian cultural values before allowing them to become citizens…

Robb cited individual freedom and commitment to the rule of law, gender equality, tolerance and the ethos of a "fair go" for all as quintessential Australian values.

I can hardly wait till they start testing the locals, too. Things can only get better, mate.

Do you remember the Englishman who was asked by Australian Immigration if he had a criminal record? He said, "No, do you still need one?" and they threw his ass in jail.

Aussie Haute Couture

Job Vacancy: MI6

Bond. James Bond.Spy services the world over are becoming desperate. The CIA has advertised, insisting, with steel-spined obstinacy, that you not have a history of hard drug use within the last five years.

Now the UK joins the “c’mon peeps, help us out here” stakes with their advertisement for spies. It really has been too long between Bond movies. James Bond wants me? A dream come true…

A Career in SIS

On this Page:

True North, East Van

A couple of pictures to put me in context for ya. I walk by both of these places every day, and can even tell you that the second pic, while labelled "Chinatown" in Wikipedia, is in fact on the Downtown EastSide, a block from Pigeon Park.

You know you're in Canada when:

Muskox Burgers. Arctic Muskox, not like that crappy sub-tropical muskox

Yeah, insist on Organic Wild Arctic muskox for your burger. Don't settle for that crappy, Ritalin-dependant, domesticated sub-tropical muskox.

And now for Carrall Street, the. worst. part. of. town.:

Carrall Street

Yeah, even our shitholes are purty.

The Day the Clown Smiled

Boomchucka, Jerusalem 

Well thank god somebody did it. Stomped the hell out of the atrocity that is Jerry Lewis' The Day the Clown Cried. About bloody time, too. The tradition of the clown has been vindicated. Thanks to Psimon of the BoJo Blog for this info on the Boomchucka Circus:

Chillyboo…Chillybah…Chilly bye byes…1st April 2006 Well it's all over now, over 50 shows in 3 months on a shoestring budget!!! Personally for me,It's been amazing, any doubts that I had about coming and doing Circus here have been blown away big time, so thanks to Jo Wilding and Boomchucka I now I have more reasons than ever to do this again, PS We would like to assure anyone who wants to join us in the future that no clowns were hurt during the making of this Circus, any rumours are not true and may involve large amounts of alcohol ;o-)

Yes, all very ordinary until you realize those 50 shows took place in Palestine and Israel. Before that? Iraq. The Clowns Must Be Crazy!

Boomchucka Bethlehem

From The Economist:

THE Jenin refugee compound, more than 50 years old and one of the oldest camps in Palestine, is home to 13,000 people, half of them under 15. It was the centre of some of the fiercest fighting during the second intifada, and even today many of its schools remain closed. When Israeli soldiers used to enter the camp, the children would automatically put down their schoolbooks and pick up stones… Boomchucka Circus, formerly Circus2Iraq, has been touring Israel and Palestine for two months. Originally from Britain, it is made up of six fools who answered an advertisement last November looking for performers to create a circus show for children living on both sides of the conflict. For the children, the show is a new experience: a humorous, high-energy piece of foolish theatre that transcends the boundaries of culture, language, age and race. But there are lessons for the actors as well. The troupe operates as a collective, with each clown funding his own way. Riding on buses, eating handouts on the street and sleeping on floors, often in return for nothing more than the offer of a chance to learn a little sleight of hand, has given the six actors a clearer insight into the daily lives of the local people and the reality of trying to conduct a relatively normal existence within a war zone than any number of subscriptions to 24-hour television ever could.

Perhaps the politicians should sign up for the tour.

Boomchucka, Jenin Refugee Camp

Stonefridge; Monument for the Ages

From Sploid. You know it's a slow news day when you've checked Fark, Guido Fawkes, the Guardian, the Globe and Mail, the Province, BoingBoing, News of the Weird and the ever-reliable Weekly World News and you only find one story worth posting.

This is it.

STONEFRIDGE!

Most people who visit England's historic Stonehenge monument come away disappointed.

In photographs, the ancient whatever-it-is looks impressive with the sun shining through its stone gates and the majestic silence and all that.

But in reality, the sun never shines at all because that's how England is, and there's a huge freeway right next to the monument so all you hear is traffic, and the whole place is overrun with dirty hippies wearing hooded druid robes.

Luckily, there's a much better option.

This is recycling at its most creative. Truly, the artist should be very, very proud, if for no other reason than it keeps those loopy neo-Druids out of my way. Adam Horowitz is reported to be the artist. Hmmm, isn't he in Beastie Boys? O! How the mighty have fallen!

STONEFRIDGE! (detail)