Yes, Jack Black. Yes, you can have me.
Compare and contrast to the original video, by Extreme. It sets the bar high, with over 75 million YES MILLION views, but then ballads by metal bands are always best ballads. Beth. Angie. The list goes on. No-one knows why.
A Zen metal köan.
You may not LOL, but I sure did. More than a year after I left the Daily Dot, I’ve been taken off their password system. That’s proactive security, people, that’s some ace security.
Hello from Passpack!
Sorry, but it seems you’ve been removed from Daily_Dot’s connections.
To verify, login to:https://www.passpack.com/online/
Go to the “People” tab.
You can no longer exchange secure messages or send each other passwords.
Passpack
Gee, what SHOULD I have done, when I had the chance?
In related news, their political reporter (formerly Anonymous reporter) Dell Cameron tried to fisk an article of mine last night, but his tweet had a glaring spelling mistake and apparently he thinks it’s still 2014. Then he deleted it.
Then he tweeted this.
Pedobear
So, can someone tell me what PedoBear is doing in Lindsay Lohan’s new game for kids?
From now on, any time anyone asks me what Tofino was like, I’m just going to point them to this post on Facebook.
Sooo … This morning I found a ponytail in our car. Doors were unlocked, nothing was taken but the seemingly fresh (I sniffed it, smelled like Pantene Pro-V) tail was wedged between the drivers seat and the middle console right by my belt. I’m certain it wasn’t there before. I have not much to say other than *in true Trading Post style* “If you accidentally borrowed the use of a random car to cut off a ponytail, please identify yourself so I can go back to feeling peaceful”
It’s like that. It’s just exactly like that.
It’s almost still Wednesday, so here is a unicorn chaser for you: A sweetly bowtied serenader performing “Nerdy Love Song” and competing frantically with an adorable kitten for control of a ukelele. If this were any more hipster it would be artisanal, which is to say it would be on Vimeo instead of YouTube.
NERDY LOVE SONG
by DeAnne Smith
C Am F G
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
and I won’t say that I love you or I heart you,
but I will say less than 3, I less than 3 you
Your molecules must be moving really quickly
’cause girl, you’re hot.
Are you igneous, metamorphic or sedimentary?
All I know is, baby, you rock.
if god existed, I’d thank him for you
but I’m rational and i read (a lot of) Sam Harris
you’re beautiful like the font of Garamond
but I wanna see you sans serif.
(take your pants off)
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
I observe your quarks oscillating,
and I’m formulating a g-string theory
I’m an archaeologist and I’m gonna compute your age,
yeah, I’m wanna absolutely date you
you make me feel like a male giraffe
I wanna nudge your rump, make you urinate, and mate you (that’s what they do)
the value of my love for you
cannot be expressed exactly
it’s more irrational than pi
hey “Fuck” is a legitimate word in Scrabble, just FYI
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
you can suck me into the supermassive black hole
at the center of your galaxy (I’m talking vagina)
I may not be the biggest or strongest
but my knowledge of grammar shines
I know how to use the words further and farther correctly
every freaking time
farther indicates physical distance
and further a depth or degree
example: the moon is getting farther from the earth
about 4 centimeters annually (true fact)
example: you just keep getting further into my heart
wait: you just keep getting farther into my heart
no, wait: you just keep getting further into my heart
hang on: you just keep getting farther into my heart
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
if the situation is ambiguous
further and farther can be used interchangably (that’s a rule! I knew that all along)
I wanna be your abacus baby
you can count on me
and I won’t say that I love you or I heart you
but I will say, I less than 3 you
(please take off your pants)
raincoaster 