tv wars 3.0

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TELEVISION!!!!! I SAID TELEVISION!!!!!! ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION????? 

The television on the main floor is so loud that I’ve fled to the basement and am checking blogs I don’t even like, just to waste time because I cannot sleep with that racket going. This would at least kill time quietly, except the only other person awake in the house is, apparently, feeling lonely, and has come downstairs to keep me company, handing photos over my shoulder, humming in my ear, occasionally announcing the shameful deaths of small children in various spots around the world, and, yes,

LEAVING THE TELEVISION GOING FULL BLAST IN THE OTHER ROOM.

I may kill someone soon.

Lord of the Rings…by George Lucas

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Well, think about it. After the last three, is this really that far-fetched? Thank god for small, Kiwi mercies.

a new image for a new America

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Give me your huddled masses, and just watch what I do with them!

from Wakeup Call

Viggo vs Evil Elf, a trip in the wayback machine

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Aragorny, eh?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but here’s a little something I wrote for North Country Public Radio back in 2002, when several crazy American strangers decided that nothing would make them happier than to fly me back East to meet a Danish-American movie star.

So they did.

There are so many reasons this trip is impossible. So many GOOD reasons. It IS impossible. But of course that has no bearing on the situation whatsoever; we are dealing with Americans here.

It must be pretty good; their previous record hits in a day was 700, and this went to 3500. When the hits are down, mention a Danish-American movie star, Beautiful Agony, Mango Porno, the blogs of murderous Goths, or, apparently, Foley‘s emails. Sure winners, every one. 

It could be some time before I’m back online (although, given that I’m in Ontario, it can be no more than fifteen seconds before I’m in the vicinity of yet another television with the volume up high) so this should tide you over till then. 24,000 words, if memory serves. Plus bonus photos!

television (star) wars 2.0

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So the other day I wander into the living room.Wow, CSI: Miami must be on!

Dan is lying on the sofa, watching CSI: Miami.

I wander downstairs.

My sister is lying on the sofa, watching CSI: Miami.

I do not understand these people.