Operation Orwell Lives: McSweeney’s is all over that

And at least one blog post ahead of me. One question, though: when tagging this post, do work-related posts get tagged Politics, or Religion? Hmmmm, deep thoughts for another time.

Behold the Nihilist Resume:

David, Candice, whatever
EndlessMurk512@aol.com
This Abject World
(555) 555-5555

Objective

I have no objective. What's the point when cold death is the final destination for us all? Can you explain that to me? I know I'm supposed to put something here, though, so here goes: Your objective is to hire me into a challenging position in a computer-applications-based field within which you feel I can "make a difference" and "contribute" in a team environment.

Imbecile. 

Work Experience

Lead Sales Representative, Howard Brothers Trucking Co. (June 2003 to present)

As far as being a "leader" goes, I wasn't leading anyone or anything. Death is the great leveler, leading us all. Or not. Again, who cares, really?

 Interests

I'll admit I play tennis, although I don't keep score and insist that when my deluded partner does he use the terms "zero" or "nothingness" instead of "love," a superfluous notion.

Watch this space

okay, not this specific one. This general, bloggy corner of cyberspace. Operation Orwell Lives is underway and as soon as I've caught up on the twelve hours of sleep I've lost in the past three days over it I'll get right to blogging it.

One way or another, this article is going to come in handy.

Clary, is that you?

Clary, is that you?

Warm up the Shift-TopRowKeys. This is going to be…vivid.

Cue the Springsteen!

Has the blogosphere peaked? This fellow thinks it has, at Tech Bloggerleast as far as the tech blogosphere goes. Admittedly, because blogging has been seen as something of a technical thing to do (and if it were, why would I do it? I ask yez) the tech blogosphere is a couple of years, call it two to four years, ahead of the rest of the blogosphere. Business is not far behind, because if they think there's money in it, they're on it like stink on shit. Politics? Well, they're way behind money, but they're next. And the blogs are better. It's just too bad not many politicians are blogging, because the self-destruct potential there is just mouth-watering, ain't it? After that comes self-cutting Angelina Jolie fans and sexually deprived middle-aged women: this section is called social blogging, and it's far larger and more powerful than politics and business. Then comes the traditional media; the Guardian is the best, and even that, I'm sorry, sucks donkeys. I know you want to break the stories in the regular part of the paper, but blogs are all about immediacy. There's no point blogging on Thursday about something that happened on Monday. Commentary blogs? Well, who wants to listen to pompous old windbags like Blumenthal unless you can spout off at him when he deserves it, which is always just for being such a pompous windbag. All Canadian papers appear to be ahead of all American papers, but behind all UK papers except the News of the World and the Sun; they can't blog, because they type with their prehensile toes and can't keep up or use long words.

Right. It's a link post. It's a post about a link.

Let's face it, you need to be a certain type of person to blog. You need to be something of a workaholic because good blogging takes time and anyone who's any good should have a pretty full plate anyhow; you need to be able to string a few sentences together; you need to have a raging ego and you need to have a head for ideas. If you're one of those people, you've almost certainly already started to blog.

Today in Giant Squid News: Archie, the Motion Picture

Archie encased perspectiveWell okay, Archie the YouTube video.

How to pickle a Giant Squid in several easy steps. It's just too bad they don't have a shot of Damien Hirst pacing back and forth, chain-smoking and screaming, "No-one understands my VISION, dammit!"

But you totally know it happened.

Archie people

I've read the comments on blogs around this watery globe, and I think that the red-haired girl shows serious FIGWIT potential. Lab tech grooming will never be the same! Where is the fansite, people??????

How to Pickle a Giant Squid!

For fun? Profit? Actually, I don't mind getting needles myself, Squid Roebut it seriously icked me out watching Archie get his shots. Her shots, excuse me. But we all know that when you travel, you need your shots; I just never thought of formalsaline solution as helpful. Perhaps I should update my vaccinations?

Welcome to the blogroll: Fat Joe Thomas

Possibly the best book review site ever. Let's take a look, shall we?

A review of:

How to Know God :

DeepakizzleThe Soul’s Journey into the Mystery of Mysteries by Deepak Chopra

This is one of the most stunning books I've ever read. It is a complete 160-degree turnaround from how he had been. In this book he realizes he's no longer angry, it's time to make friends and be happy. And, then, not weeks after the publication, he is gunned down by the East Coast individualists. The feud between the two coasts has been raging for too long. The West Coast spiritualists (led by Deepak) hate the East Coast individualists. No one really knows the cause of the rivalry, but some people think it started when Neal Donald Walsch (an East Coaster) said Deepak looked like Dr. Segal. At any rate, these two groups have hated each other ever since.

And, that hatred was certainly evident in Deepak's works. His 1992 book Perfect Heath: Sumpin the East Coast Know Nothin' 'Bout was a bitter tongue lashing against his rivals. And, nothing stung more than these lines from 1990's Quantum Healing: Deepak 4Ever Y'all — "When the spirit of life swells within you/kick that mofo sucka out/coz the East is the beast/and they got nothin ta pray about".