Operation Global Media Domination: The Governor-General Situation

Well Possums, while it seems that we are still the front-runner in the stakes to become Canada’s newest Governor-General, that’s only because nobody else seems to want the job. Nonetheless, we will not allow ourselves to be discouraged (as you can see, we’re already slipping into the Royal Third Person). Nay, nay! Quite the contrary.

We have begun referring to “The general situation” as “The vice-regal situation” in order to slide more seamlessly into our inevitable new vice-regalian role as GG.

There have been a few refinements to the platform over the past several weeks and indeed more than a whole month now. How the time flies when you’re running a satirical campaign to make an anarchal communist the Queen’s Representative in Canada!

First of all, we have our first fan-created marketing collateral, in the form of this beauteous featured image from @Owlerine.

With the backup, just in case Plan A doesn’t work out. Which, in my world it never does.

For one thing, it looks like kd lang is indeed on board as our Ambassador to Narnia, a post necessitated by the past activities of our Grand Vizier, Vermine Supreme, who has previously called for the elimination of the scrappy fantasy nation by the use of nuclear weapons. If anyone can smooth this over, it’s kd lang.

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Agrees, Yoda does.

Yet — GASP — Another Blog Post!

Two in a week! I know, right? 

Here’s my first week with ID and medical coverage and what am I doing about it? Nothing whatsoever, that’s what I’m doing about it.

On the plus side, I have a TON of experience at this shit. On the minus side, I have a tooth that has basically been infected for the last year, on and off, plus swollen glands and an overdue cancer survivor check, which anyone must admit is an inauspicious conjunction. So I’ve got to get off my ass/buttular parts and on the road to getting an actual doctor’s appointment, which I literally forget how to do.

I’m serious. The last time I had a doctor’s appointment was like Three Cher Faces ago, and the Kardashians had not been invented yet, except the one toadying to OJ Simpson. So I have to find a doctor, I guess, and then make an appointment. No, first I have to dig through the welfare website, because I think I read that they cover dental stuff if you’re on benefits, which I am, and that would be huge. And I can do that now, which is long past doctors’ offices closing time, so brb.

Back. Wow, there are an unconscionable number of 404’s on that government website. No excuse for that shit, people. #BlameManagement. Anyhoodle it does look like dental is covered if there’s pain and/or infection and/or there sure as shit is.

Okay, email to one human being at the hospital with the cancer centre has been sent, asking for pointers to the right person to talk to. So that’s step one and step two down. Whew, this whole efficiency thing is exhausting!

The next paperwork step is taxes. You can imagine how much I’m looking forward to that. Taxes, cancer, and tooth extractions.

Life. A cabaret, it is.

Agrees, Yoda does.

Agrees, Yoda does.

Operation Global Media Domination: 2013 in review for raincoaster.com

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 180,000 times in 2013. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 8 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Operation Global Media Domination: The Bright Side of the Dark Side

The Dark Lord welcomes you, recruit

The Dark Lord welcomes you, recruit

Before there was Voldemort, there was Vader. And before there was Vader, the world knew another as “The Dark Lord,” and I’m not even talking about Conrad Black.

He lives yet.

In fact, he owns Gawker.

And today, he broke me.

After how many years of me refusing to write for him for free (while still contributing thousands of words a week in the form of snippy comments and tips) tonight I finally gave in and….Kinja‘d. Twice!

It was…scary.

But it’s about the highest-profile outlet I have since I let this poor blog peter down to virtually nothing, so I posted a couple of articles that have had, through no fault of their own, failed to find a home.

Relive the Cold War for Fun and Profit:

how the Russian government hacked the US energy industry, and why the Ukrainian uprising might make the entire three-year project entirely moot


Snitching for Dollars: The BSA wants you to rat out your boss!

In my own defence, it did take something like eight years to wear me down. Should the posts get zero momentum despite being on a Gawker platform, the experiment will not be repeated. While I was at it, I updated my Media and Public Speaking page. You know I’m all about Operation Global Media Domination! Now, bring me that audience!

Hail Vader! Hail Operation Global Media Domination!

Hail Vader! Hail Operation Global Media Domination!

Operation Global Media Domination: The Anon Situation


After only, I don’t know, six years? covering Anonymous, either here or at various journalism platforms, I finally get an acknowledgement from the #1 Anonymous scholar that I’m alive. On a day when I’m not sure it’s more than technically true.

Well, 600 social shares also go a long way to revivifying me. Phibes has his Vulnavia; I have retweets.