Category Archives: Governor General

Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.

Election Bingo, Rideau Hall Edition

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Here we are, Possums, outside Rideau Hall which once more has a Governor-General in residence, even though it isn’t me. Alas. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE PEOPLE BUT NOOOOO.

But I’m over that.

Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.
Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.

Let’s get straight into it, because as usual I’ve left the blogging to the last minute. So here’s our video of the PM visiting the GG to ask her to dissolve Parliament (which is on vacation anyway) and call an election. Two days ago the Conservatives released a Not Officially Campaign Video on Twitter, one which was greeted with enthusiasm and relief. By everyone who opposes the Conservative Party. Because that thing is a mortifying clusterfuck. An expensive, mortifying clusterfuck produced by pricy foreign consultants that got ratioed all to hell on Twitter.

Behold:

And yesterday the Liberal campaign ad leaked or was handed to FactPointVideo (whoever they are) and posted on YouTube:

Oh oops, was he not supposed to do that? Was that bad?

Hey, mark your “Got your backs” square already! Shall we get into it? Let’s get into it, Possums.

No new Bingo cards for today, but we’ve got ten already from our Covid Briefing Bingo, so let’s use them.

Here is our video, with only 173 people watching. It’s not even the first day of the election and it seems like people are OVER it.

And here are our cards:

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Non-Election Election Bingo, Part the Second

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We’re here, we’re caffeinated, and we’re doing this, Possums. Today is the investiture of the new Governor-General, who is NOT me (despite my second-best-impaired-by-Long-Covid efforts). It is Mary Simon, who, unlike me, is actually qualified for the job.

Here’s the program for the event, and here’s our video, with a mere 155 people watching live:

Mary Simon is sworn in as Canada’s 30th governor general during an installation ceremony in the Senate chamber. The Inuk leader and former diplomat becomes the first Indigenous person to serve in the role.

Here are our bingo cards:

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Operation Global Media Domination: The Governor-General Situation

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Well Possums, while it seems that we are still the front-runner in the stakes to become Canada’s newest Governor-General, that’s only because nobody else seems to want the job. Nonetheless, we will not allow ourselves to be discouraged (as you can see, we’re already slipping into the Royal Third Person). Nay, nay! Quite the contrary.

We have begun referring to “The general situation” as “The vice-regal situation” in order to slide more seamlessly into our inevitable new vice-regalian role as GG.

There have been a few refinements to the platform over the past several weeks and indeed more than a whole month now. How the time flies when you’re running a satirical campaign to make an anarchal communist the Queen’s Representative in Canada!

First of all, we have our first fan-created marketing collateral, in the form of this beauteous featured image from @Owlerine.

With the backup, just in case Plan A doesn’t work out. Which, in my world it never does.

For one thing, it looks like kd lang is indeed on board as our Ambassador to Narnia, a post necessitated by the past activities of our Grand Vizier, Vermine Supreme, who has previously called for the elimination of the scrappy fantasy nation by the use of nuclear weapons. If anyone can smooth this over, it’s kd lang.

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Twofer Tuesday: Covid Briefing Bingo Double Bill

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Well, possums, we were bad. We neglected you last week AND this week; what is it about Tuesday that makes it so damn difficult to liveblog the Covid briefing?

I’ll tell you: my god damned alarm not going off. What, after all, is the point of technology if we cannot use it as a convenient excuse when we want. My phone has many thousands of times more computing power than was used to send the Apollo astronauts to the moon, but what do I need it to do? Provide plausible cover for when I sleep in.

Mission. Accomplished!

Moving right along, or left along, which is more to my anarchal communist taste. Tastes. But the less said about those, the better…

The Irish variety is rarer than you might think

We, meaning me, are calling you, meaning you, “possums” because

  • hopefully there is more than one reader of this blog these days
  • Armie Hammer has ruined “kittens” forever
  • wemeaningme aremeaningis big fansmeaningfan of Dame Edna, and Dame Edna loved her possums
See, wemeaningme wouldn’t lie about that

Anyhoodle, we missed both last week’s and this week’s Tuesday briefings, so we’re going to do a twofer today on Tuesday. Yes, you can mark your “Alliteration” square.

Here’s the video from today, since we’re doing these in reverse order because wemeaningme aremeaningis arbitrary that way. 33,000 views so far, one of the more popular ones.

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The Vice Regal Covid Briefing Bingo

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Here we go. No fancy framing theme today, because I used all my mojo up yesterday creating a platform for my run to be elected Governor-General. I had no idea standards were so low: I may actually have a real shot at this. Haven’t killed anyone with a car yet, nor beaten a spouse, but hey, day’s not over, amirite?

One notes with interest that they’ve already killed her GGJPayette Twitter account, and now it’s just Canadian_GG. Oh, snap!

I need to go back and amend that post about becoming Governor-General, to put Mike Holmes in charge of all the permaculture-related renovations at Rideau Hall, and give Scott McGillivray some sort of “facilities manager” title just to keep him around so I can look at him. God knows, I’m a sucker for a good head of hair.

Oh yes, and we will write it into the rules that in order to graduate from a Canadian university, you must spend at least six months working in either retail or food and beverage service, ie waiting tables, cashier, sales floor, or cooking and/or serving fast food. No exceptions, no fancy bougie compound sinecure your connected uncle gets for you (“Second Under Barback at Bohemian Grove” spare me; if your shoes don’t smell like beer at the end of a shift, you ain’t a barback), no management jobs. Yes, welcome to the life of a front line worker. Your proletarian brothers and sisters embrace you! Enjoy your Teachable Moment.

Quit Stalin!

Meanwhile, you can’t tell me Twitter isn’t comedy gold.

But where was I? Oh yes, explaining that there would be absolutely no elaborate introduction, nor framing device for today’s Covid Briefing Bingo. None. Zip. Because it’s 2021 and we’re over it, really, aren’t we?

Very well, here we go. Our video is here:

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau provides an update in Ottawa on the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. In his remarks, the prime minister also comments on the resignation of Julie Payette as governor general and on his upcoming telephone call with U.S. President Joe Biden, during which he is expected to discuss the president’s decision to cancel the permit for the construction of the Keystone XL pipeline.
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