Daily Archives: April 24, 2007

sounds like a plan

Posted on by

like animal farm, but with fluorescents

Hey, it always worked for me. From the relatively insane Rum & Monkey, we present:

20 Indicators that Weeping at Work
May Be a Viable Plan Going Forward

Chair has become one with Nestene consciousness and keeps trying to nibble on bum.

Utopian vision for global democracy dashed by gel-haired colleague’s Daily Mail worldview.

Zombie army escaped again and appears to want IT support.

Oh noes, someone took two donuts.

Microsoft Office has become otherworldly sentient intelligence and still just wants to know if you’re writing a letter.

and so on…ah, the year I put in at the cubicle farm. Good times, good times. Okay, I confess: it was me who freed the zombie army and gave them your pager number.

So we know who I am: the question now becomes, who are you? Take the Office Moron quiz!

Which Office Moron Are You?

I'm great. Like gold.

Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.
Congratulations, fool! You’re the incompetent egotist.

Every office has one. You stride in on your first day with no useful skills, an inane smile on your face, and plans for a variety of team-building exercises, meetings, extra-curricular activities and staff days out, all designed to win you favour with the boss.

The problem is, everyone else hates you. You’re loud, you’re arrogant, you’re dumber than management, and you insist on wearing really loud shirts to make yourself seem interesting. Even the IT manager is more socially aware – and the depressing thing is, you’ll probably run the company in ten years.

If you don’t get a pickaxe through your head first.

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

Cho Seung-Hui/Ernie from Sesame Street: the odd couple

Posted on by

devil duckyZeta runs deep.

Virginia Tech mass-murderer Cho Seung-Hui was, it seems, no Dungeonmaster. He was no World of Warcrafter. He was no mom’sbasement-dweller. Police found not one computer game when they searched his room, not one multiplayer game on his computer. But the intrepid reporters at The Smoking Gun have found a smoking gun of sorts, a zeta male marker as unmistakable in its way as running around wearing an official LOTR elf cloak or Spock ears.

They found his eBay records. It seems the man was quite the passionate rubber duck collector.

In addition to purchasing ammunition clips on eBay, Virginia Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui last year bought an assortment of rubber duckies via the online auction giant. That’s right, the mass murderer paid a total of $21.50 in two February 2006 auctions that netted him three dozen small squeaking toy ducks and one giant rubber duck. Cho, using his eBay handle “blazers5505,” purchased the items on successive days from an Illinois dealer who appears to specialize in the yellow bathtub items. On the following pages are screen captures of the eBay duck auctions won by Cho. Both pages remain archived on the auction site, though most of the killer’s eBay activity–which apparently began in 2004–has, over time, been deleted from the site.

It is unclear, of course, why the sullen lunatic needed the novelty items.

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

a resource for the ages

Posted on by

Sister Mary MartiniThe internet is alive with resources; indeed, it is riddled with them. It’s positively writhing with ripe and ready resources.

Now, we don’t know how you live your life, but if you’re anything like we are, you look upon most of these resources as, quite frankly, irrelevant crap. Amazon? Don’t you need money for that? Paypal? You need a credit card for that. Travelocity? Ah, to own a passport…what’s that like?

But at last, the internet has finally put out for us here at the ol’ raincoaster blog!

Buy Your Friend a Drink.com via Will Work for Food, who deserves a drink, him/herself.

The concept is you can literally buy your friend a drink via their website, which then sends a text message to your friend telling them they have X number of dollars to spend at a certain bar. Your friend then flashes their phone to the bartender who enters the code that was sent to you, and that’s it. Free drink.

I guess next you’ll be able to take your friend to lunch without actually being there.

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

cheddarvision!

Posted on by

We know what it’s like. It’s two in the morning, your hand won’t let go of the remote, and your innate optimism is driving you to click past yet another NADs commercial, whispering there must be something good on, there must be something good on…and so dawn finds you, bleary yet hopeful, thumb numb, clicking onward in search of the one interesting show that has to be out there.

Allow me.

Ladies, gentlemen, and undecided, we present the one channel on which you can all depend. No, not the Yule Log.

Cheddarvision!!!

Available 24/7, Cheddarvision never disappoints. Like Fox News or state channel of a banana republic, you always know what you’re going to get: a wheel of cheddar, slowly ageing on a shelf in realtime. If you’ve ever thought that Watch the Grass Grow cam was too fast-paced, if you’ve ever thought that watching slo-mo replays of golf got you too riled up before naptime, if you’re the kind who eschews cough syrup because you might get a wicked high, then this is the channel for you. Watching a wheel of cheddar age has got to be more interesting than the gossip around the canasta table in the ward lounge.

If not, email me. I love a good canasta tale.