some hate crimes are more equal than others

The plotting terrorist didn’t really expect to use the guns or the knife. “Hand to hand combat is unlikely,” he noted in his handwritten plans. The way he figured it, the bombs would be enough. Over the past several months, the terrorist had hoarded enough C4, constructed enough homemade explosives and brewed up enough kitchen-counter napalm to bring the building to the ground in an earth-shattering, apocalyptic storm of fire and death.

Yes, some hate crimes are more equal than others. Specifically, hate crimes perpetrated by nice Jewish podiatrists and dentists plotting to kill Muslims are more equal.

It is a matter of some consternation to the Muslim community of central
Florida that Goldstein and his two accomplices had gotten off comparatively lightly for their parts in what even prosecutors acknowledge was a hate-driven plot to murder perhaps scores of innocent people. None of the trio, not even Goldstein, the architect of the plan, were charged under terrorism statutes, or for that matter, under hate crime statutes.

It is no small irony, some Muslim leaders have said, that at a time when some in government had claimed a right since restricted by the U.S. Supreme Court to designate some accused plotters as terrorists, and to hold them for years if deemed necessary without ever filing formal charges against them, all three admitted conspirators in the Goldstein case received speedy hearings and comparatively lenient sentences.

And it goes without saying that if any of the conspirators know what Gitmo looks like, it’s from that article Vanity Fair did a few months back.

From the Jewish newsweekly The Forward, via Crime Library:

“What led Goldstein, by all accounts an assimilated Jew, intermarried and living in what, according to a 1999 study by geographer Dr. Ira Sheskin of the University of Miami, is a typically assimilated Jewish community, a place where Christmas trees are not uncommon in nominally Jewish households, where the intermarriage rate is slightly higher than in many places, and where anti-Semitism is no more rabid than anywhere else in Florida, to take up arms as a self appointed avenger of the terrorist attacks of September 11 on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? What made this peripheral member of an average Jewish community decide to plot what has been described as a terrorist attack to make a statement ‘for his people’? Even more troubling is this question: Was Goldstein a terrorist, and if so, was he treated differently than he would have been had he been an Arab or Muslim accused of a similar offense?”

Giant Squid Couture

Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Bai Ling, modelling cephalopod couture from the House of Archie:

Bai Ling Squid Dress

The Architeuthis BaiLing is one of the larger invertebrates. Its breeding habits are not known (except perhaps to Charlie Sheen and the Wilson Brothers), although the presence of cameras stimulates it to display both primary and secondary sexual characteristics. It is nocturnal, and appears to feed only infrequently.

Yes, I stole it from Go Fug Yourself, but the writeup wasn’t much better than mine, so instead I’ll link you to the funniest thing they’ve ever written. Thank me later, after you’ve wiped the tears from your eyes and cleaned off that mess on your chair.

his first time

I won’t be gentle.

Pub CrawlingNow, there’s a first time for all of us. Several, come to think of it: first word, first steps, first date, first kiss, first…you get the idea.

First pub crawl. Yes, first Friday night out in the big city with your buddies, looking for some hot urban action.

How not to do it? This way:

Shortish, black-clad male twentysomething, coming out of Earl’s* with other short, black-clad male twentysomethings.

He says, “Awwwright! Now let’s hit The Keg*!”

*American readers, please substitute Benihana and TGIFriday‘s for Earl’s and The Keg. British readers, you have no equivalents. Count yourselves lucky.

Conceited: When good metaphors happen to bad writers

Demotivators Humiliation

Oh. My. God.

And in The Guardian, no less.

And, apparently, no more. Please god, no more.

Car-crash lives: are they accident or conspiracy? Some lives are car crashes waiting to happen. Then the car crash does happen and the big question is: conspiracy or accident? It was a shocking breach of precedent so it had to be an accident. Mr Berlusconi… rarely moves without an airbag to protect him from dire consequences. If only Mr Mills had courted airbags instead of being one. The car he crashed while fleeing the press without cleaning his windscreen would have been spared…Ill-founded self-belief is the heartbeat of the car-crash life. Recklessness is the blood in its veins and its every breath gasps it’s not my fault

That’s right; there’s no period, no italics, nuttin’. I had no idea that the war had so severely hit the UK; rationing is back, and apparently being applied to punctuation as well as produce. The author then proceeds to drag in the brother of the Sultan of Brunei, some hapless veterinarian who had a meltdown last week, and Princess Diana. Tasteful. And totally, totally on-topic.

One glaring flaw in the British educational system is that it gives people a solid grounding in advanced literary technique. Unfortunately, this seems to act as some kind of encouragement to them, instead of a warning. If nobody has been able to make it work since the time of Cromwell, chances are that the person who can make it work is not you. It is certainly not Barbara Toner.

John Donne, we hardly knew ye.

I need a coffee

Fortunately, my friend from Norway (Norway? It is Norway, right? One of those, anyway) sent me one. From Norway, via Japan, with luv. I was with Starbucks for seven years and every time I tried to do something like this it just ended up looking like a very tan vagina.

Hello Latte