PSA: How to record off a warped record

Vinyl Album 

Via a completely nerdily pointless article on BoingBoing about cha-cha and mambo songs that there are a surplus of anyway. This is the addendum, when it should have been the WHOLE POINT.

A reader comments:

Here are a couple of techniques I've used when dealing with warped vinyl. In all cases I've done it so I could get one good copy, which I would use in the future (ie. I didn't use these techniques to play the vinyl every time). Also note, I probably wouldn't recommend these techniques with a really expensive turntable and stylus, though they never messed up mine.

1. Try weighting down the stylus with one or two pennies. Or perhaps a nickel (which weighs about 5 grams).

2. Place the vinyl onto a hard surface (eg. table top), between two sheets of clean paper (not the sleeve, since it sometimes has stickyness), and then place a heavy, flat weight on top for 15 minutes or so (I'd use an unabridged dictionary). While the vinyl usually has enough physical memory that it'll ultimately re-warp, it's possible to flatten things out long enough to record one copy.

3. Drizzle a bunch of distilled water all over the surface of the vinyl (avoiding the label). While I usually used this to reduce pops and clicks from scratches, the added dampening from the water would sometimes be enough to hold the needle in the groove on warped records.

4. Lastly, play it at a lower speed, so the needle doesn't jump, then process the recording to shorten the time and raise the pitch. While I did this a couple of times, it was back in the early 80's before I had a digital processor, so restoring the sound in the end wasn't so easy, though I could get close.Let It Be

He doesn't mention one that worked on my original copy of Let It Be: Leave the damn thing on a flat surface under a piece of glass in front of a window for one day. Simple.

Narnia Rap: Wicked Wednesday, CS in Chi-Town

When desperate for blog content, hit YouTube and enter any single thing off the top of your head. Never Fucking Fails. See "Maritess vs the Superfriends" for the greatest example of this serendipity.

Operation Occupation: me and my big mouth

Death Makes a Deadline! 

Since I am officially the last to speak at the morning story meetings, you'd think I'd learn from the more experienced reporters. Particularly, you'd think I'd learn when to STFU.

We go around the table. Mike, what is your story pitch today? Mike pitches a story. A. Story. Cheryl, what is yours? Cheryl pitches a story. A. Story. Well, actually Cheryl is ambitious or something, and Cheryl pitches two. And Lorraine, what is your story pitch today? And at that point the caffeine hits my mouth if not my brain and I throw out three or four ideas and only really stop because the EIC is enthusiastically jumping on one of my ideas and explaining how it fits in perfectly with something he wants for the paper. So now, not only do I have the story that was supposed to be done yesterday to finish up, but I also have to write up the one I interviewed the fellow for yesterday, in between the office and the Shebeen Club; both of those were approved on Monday morning, but now, because of said bigmouthitis, I also now have three more perfectly good story ideas I'm expected to write up in the next, say, 18 hours.

And, of course, here I am blogging about it rather than writing them up.

the dark side of looking on the bright side

Downtown EastSide

Barbara Ehrenreich is right; it is possible to brainwash one's self into optimism so far as to constitute a kind of socially-approved insanity. Indeed, the way workaholism was the defining pathology of the Eighties, irrational exhuberance is the nuttitude du jour in the Aughties.

Viz:

Yesterday I was striding past the jail on my way from A to B (I live so close to the jail and courthouse that the jail is virtually always on the way from my A to my B, regardless of which A's and B's we're talking about) and I saw a – let us be honest here – a crack whore, on her knees, scrabbling with fingernails on concrete looking for one last sparkling shard of rock fallen to the filthy sidewalk…and the thought that crossed my mind, preempting all others was, "God, her hair looks fabulous!"

Ask an Expert: Fabian Basabe on Self-Confidence

Fabian being fabialous 

Via Gawker. This man knows what he's talking about: Fabian Basabe, "international it-boy" has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. In fact, he has no distinguishing qualities whatsoever: he's the one in the lineup that nobody ever picks. You've seen him a million times and can't remember what he looks like or, if you can, you wouldn't recognize him without makeup.

He's now helping the self-esteem-deficient overcome their handicap by sharing the secrets of his unique ability to transcend self-doubt in the face of a complete lack of accomplishment, talent, or looks. Here are his secrets:

A how-to guide for building confidence
Fabian Basabe, international “it boy''

Q: I loved you on Filthy Rich: Celebrity Cattle Drive when you ordered that pizza in the middle of the wilderness. I'd love to have chutzpah like that. What are your tips for being super-confident?

FB: First off, I must differentiate confidence and over-confidence, the first a sign of self-respect and a tool to achieving your goals, while the latter a sign of insecurity that will stand between you and getting what you want. In general, it takes more confidence to be humble and ask for help than to panic and demand attention.

Fabian's tips on being confident

1. The more you think like a confident person, the Fabian and dog, Fabian on top for once in his lifemore likely you are to get what you want.

2. Know what you want. Are you sure of what it is you want? If you want something badly enough, there is no reason you should not have it.

3. Be passionate.

4. Be a rebel. Do not be afraid to be your own person. People like a leader.

5. Be an independent thinker. A true sign of confidence is belief in yourself.

6. Do not be a power-tripper. This is a sign of insecurity. If things go your way, be grateful.

7. Do not be a phony. Be yourself. People of strong character make a strong impression.

8. Don't budge. A truly confident person will stay the course.

9. Do not waste time hiding your vulnerabilities. Everyone has his moments; use them to relate to others.

10. Be as charming as possible while withholding. People like a bit of mystery.

11. Flirt, flirt, flirt and then flirt some more.

12. Flatter, charm, demand, push, threaten (in this order). You should get what you want.

13. I keep asking over and over again until whoever is responsible breaks down and gives me what I want, and if that fails, a thick stack of twenties should do the trick.

14. If all else fails, just get naked.