my secret love, my secret shame

The chartIf this gets out, I’ll never be able to show my avatar around the British Empire again.

I have a secret crush, a secret shame. A secret so horrifying, so soul-shrinking, that even one as shameless as me can barely put it into pixels.

I have a crush on…no, I can’t say it.

It’s not his beliefs, should rarefied science ever detect any. It’s not his thoughts, which seem to be quite clever, if misguided and destructive. It’s not his actions, for which the record speaks for itself.

And god knows it’s not for his unearthly beauty.

I’m off to self-medicate with nonfiction and Mount Gay Rum. Wish me luck.

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29 thoughts on “my secret love, my secret shame

  1. Pingback: my secret love, my secret shame

  2. You have crush on Tony Blair? That’s funny because I always though he wasn’t too shabby for an old guy! In fact, he’s very do-able. Even his top teeth are straight which is kinda nice for a Brit.

    Well, your secret isn’t so shameful. He’s powerful and he’s got straight teeth with an alluring Brit accent. Sure his suits are nice too.

  3. It is not your fault, Rain. This is an unfortunate side effect of the bad date. You are traumatized and out of your head but will recover shortly.

  4. Oh believe me, I have ALL the nude scenes, including the films not released in North America. I’m just pointing out that my friends would rather complain about me than try to help me get over this bizarre fetish.

  5. I personally will come to Vancouver and prevent you from eating any more liquified green substance, including creme de menthe – I hate that stuff, and make you eat steak and seafood and anything else if it will prevent a reoccurence of that awful photo.

    Dear god, the thought of Ric Ocasek standing for Parliament gives me the willies . . . . .

  6. Actually, I’d vote for Ocasek over Harper any day.

    “Ric O. and the Synth Pop Boogie Party”

    –at least as credible as the NEW GREEN Conservative Party (but not “of Canada” ‘cos we know where our loyalties lie and did we mention GREEN?)

    “Vote for the big O!” You’d pick up the women’s vote and lose only a few in Montreal.

  7. You know, if you drink enough Creme de Menthe, like say at a completely hypothetical Christmas party or sumpin’, your [redacted] turns green.

    I’d vote for a big O!

  8. He is, all the more for being married to Paulina Porizkova, the original supermodel.

    But I still say that George Stephanopoulos missed his shot by avoiding raincoaster….the fool!

  9. Pingback: Young John McCain: Hawt or Nawt « raincoaster

  10. Pingback: My Secret Boyfriend: photo proof of suitability « raincoaster

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