A Very, VERY Walken Christmas

Merry Christmas from Christopher Walken

Christopher Walken and his mother would like to deliver a few choice words to their fans this Yuletide season. Indeed, it can hardly be said to be Christmastime around the ol’ raincoaster blog without the scheduled appearance of the seasonal videos of both Mother Walken and Brian Atene as General Ursus of Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

We are not sure what your holiday traditions may include, but we hope to persuade you to welcome these new classics of the intertubes both now and in the future.

Some poetry from Mother Walken:

An excerpt of poetry from Christopher Walken:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even this mouse.
For I bit off its head, and shaved off its hair,
Stuck it in Timmy’s stocking, hung from the chimney with care.
The children asleep, waiting for Santa to come,
While visions of sugar…wait…what the fuck is a sugar plum?
Grandma in her ‘kerchief, Grandpa in his cap,
Had just settled down, for a long winter’s nap.
To say “just settled in” is a bit of a mistake,
Twelve years in those chairs, they won’t soon awake.
I think they’re fun, you can move them about,
I had just put Grandpa’s cold fist in his mouth…”

Surely you’ll want to read the whole thing.

I. Said. Read it.

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19 thoughts on “A Very, VERY Walken Christmas

  1. You are easily my favorite blog anymore. Kuato, Walken, Winona Ryder behaving scandalously with ventriloquist dummies. Where else on the net can a person find such cultural gems as these?

    Once again you have outdone yourself.

    My favorite Walken movie: Communion – it’s so much fun to see him interracting with would-be-anal-probing alien puppets.

  2. I am very glad that you enjoy the insanity. I only wish I’d written these. I think of myself as an editor, showcasing the astonishing achievements of others.

    My favorite Walken movie is The Prophesy. Watching him and Amanda Plummer together is terrifying, but awesome.

  3. Jenny McCarthy said in her biography that when working with Walken on the set of Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead, he used to keep an apple in his pocket. Like one he nibbled on all day and he’d just stuff it in his pocket until it was brown as can be but he’d still be chomping at it…

    She also said he smelled REALLY BAD. I figure he was getting into character but who really knows…

  4. My brother didn’t know who Christopher Walken was at Christmas. I referred him to this site. Oh, and Batman.

  5. @firearcher78 – then with your brother’s journey complete, he is now ready to send his “letter to Walken.” Walken instinctively knows when someone has become conscious of his work, and he expects adolation and respect in return for his greatness.

  6. Pingback: Celebrity Sex Faces « raincoaster

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