In a post sure to incite frantic giggling and mild sweating all over the blogosphere, Thrillist (via Defamer)has announced that the State of California now offers medical marijuana in vending machines available at four locations, 24 hours a day.
They open for business on Monday, will be closed by Tuesday to extract the bodies of overly-eager clients from underneath their crushing bulk.
After cinching up your doctor’s consultation, hit an AVM location to get your prescription approved, fingerprint taken, and a prepaid credit card loaded with your profile: dosage (3.5 or 7 grams, up to 1oz a week) and strain preference (choice of five, including OG Cush and Granddaddy Purple, the mildly hallucinogenic forebear to Prince). Then day or night, all you do is hit a machine and walk away with enough vacuum-sealed, plastic-encapsulated cheeba to adequately treat your illness, and guarantee your car never smells like new leather again.
No, they don’t carry the Root Beer strain.
No word on whether they carry Doritos.
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raincoaster 
Interesting that they do that – why would they want a Canadian citizen, Marc Emery, extradited to the US as a drug trafficker to spend 10 years in a US hell hole when that is allowed?
I wonder if I can loiter around the machines and hit someone up to buy me a toke – sort of like the way my high school boyfriend would make me hit up an older dude for beer in the parking lot of the local 7 11.
Holy smokes. This will go down as the world’s most burglarized vending machine.
Running out to grab some smokes takes on new meaning!
I’ve never been in lust with a machine before! Sure, there’s my vibrator, but this is a whole new arena for me.
I’ve stolen this madness.
R U Srius? Almost enough to make me consider moving back to that state, but then saw they’re only available in Southern CA–figures. Shouldn’t there be one at the clinic on the corner of Haight & Ashbury?
I thought Stiletto would like this post.
Emery, who has been honoured as one of Vancouver’s top entrepreneurs, only sells seeds to the US. Seeds are not illegal. I really, seriously don’t think they have a very good case; they only wanted to make an arrest to get headlines. He’s got some very smart lawyers working for him.
Actually, the sale of seeds, especially through the US mail, IS in fact illegal, but I still see the Emory case as pure persecution.
As to California–I’m guessing the vending machines won’t be used as much as they might. First off, although medical pot is legal by state law, the federal laws disagree, and some folks are known to get their jollies sending the DEA to raid compassion clubs.
I’d imagine that there’ll be an umarked van hanging out by those machines the way Stiletto used to lurk out by liquor stores and Raincoaster still does (although I’m guessing Stiletto doesn’t mooch for change).
And just this week one poor bastard, prescribed pot by his quack for a back injury lost his fight to get his job back after his company fired him for guess what?
It’s a pity though. When the law is that schizoid, the people who might best benefit from a nice hard hit off the bong are the lawmakers.
Is it? Oh, right, his defence is that he’s not IN the US.
I don’t mooch for change! I mooch only for gin! And here I thought you knew me…
Alrighty then.
California it is.
Schwarzenegger will be in office for like… ever …
This is probably true.
ahhh… here it is. Kstaff will be by eventually to see what I was talking about.
Hi Kstaff!
He just returned from California. He says he can’t sleep now.
He says it’s his internal clock, all messed up.
Mmm.
Has he got any brownies on him?
dunno. I asked him.
He hasn’t commented to my prior post yet. I told him earlier to go get a room.
I think he did.
Now this is some ole bullshiznit!!!! I’m out in L.A. without my stash for a week and all along a freakin’ vending machine could’ve hooked me up? You mean I could’ve bypassed Compton? You mean I didn’t have to pretend I was “vanilla kev” from the hood to score some smoke?
I’d like to see a Vanilla Kev YouTube. Would it be like Weird Al’s White and Nerdy?
“Vanilla Kev is da illest,
his style is played out,
like Arnold with the
whatyoutalkin’bout, Willis?”
This is wonderful for all who need it. MJ is the least harmful of all drugs when eaten, any smoke is bad for you that is a nobrainer! Take it from the doc I know. NSAIDS such as motrin kill more people than planes, trains, and autos combined each year, while prescribed drugs kill at least one million people per year! Look it up! Why does the goverment uphold these laws? Simple, they make serious cash with their pharmacy companies and can use the war on drugs BS to slowly take away your freedom. Pot should be legal for anyone who is over 21 and matured fully. Water will kill you before ganja will.lol! The goverment is using the drug war to fund more cops so they can put more hnest citizens behind bars while they let molestors walk the streets. USA has more people in prison than any country on the planet(fact)! We are not the home of the free anymore and our rights will be stolen unless we all stand together and unite against the stupid laws of prohibition. Protecting our borders would solve the drug problem more than anything. Who wants crap mexican weed anyway? I dont consider MJ a drug compared to cacaine and the like. That is obvious to most people. The goverment believes its own BS and the police, DEA, etc are brainwashed goverment agents. I feel sorry them and the lives of people that have been ruined by bad laws that most people dont want. Dr Greenthumb
No, the US is not the land of the free and hasn’t been for quite some time, but do you really think a dreadfully-spelled, xenophobic screed supporting locking down the borders is going to change anyone’s mind?
Particularly when this blog comes from the proud home of BC Bud?
As for me, I think the stuff reeks and I refuse to go near it, even when I was on chemo. Also: it makes you paranoid. I’ve gotten more than one “The aliens are coming!” phonecall in the middle of the night.
Ah, that was me, Rain. That was during my “valium snorting” phase. Before that was the phase where I believed I was an Incan god.
See, if you had been straight, you’d have remembered you were Mayan all along!
Sorry for the xenophobic comment, but I was just trying to make a point. As for the dreadfully spelled part I was tired after seeing 500 patients during the week. Sorry, I didnt know you were an English instructor and had to feel the need to put people down on message boards. You are an assshole!! Is that spelled well enough for you?
We dont speak like you where I am from. We are masculine and to the point! I dont use fancy words because I deal with simlple people all day. I am sure my IQ is well beyond what yours will ever be, so I am secure in that!
Are you a butt doctor? You know, an “ass man?”
He appears to be. Just a “simlple” man. Also, he appears to be smoking too much weed; does this look like a message board? It’s a blog. Stoners are so easily confused, especially when their dicks are tiny.
I’ll not have green thumbs where few have gone before!
Quite.
You ask for “vanilla kev”, I give you this:
http://www.whipitoutcomedy.com/2007/06/smoke-weed-every-day.html
http://www.wsls.com/sls/news/local/article/man_arrested_for_growing_84_marijuana_plants/7261/
This gentleman was arrested for growing 84 plants “Not for personal use”. If he was growing them for personal use, then it is ok, yes?
What if he was growing them for his aged grandma, who was in pain? It’s just a lot of messed up laws, and the cops are actually caught in the middle as they don’t know what they’re supposed to be enforcing this week.
As long as they get to keep the evidence, doubt they care ;)
They don’t. Here in Canada at least, they burn it and crowds gather downwind. You probably think I’m joking, but I am not.
in my opinion, i disagree with the vending machines because our country, later on in the future would probably turn into a drug playground. most of the people in the country would take drugs whether it’s legal or not.