Unspeakable Homes and Gardens

In-demand international businessman Abdul Nyarlathotep and his charming wife Shub Niggurath had never seen a challenge like the old Gloaming homestead, but, having once seen it, they knew they had to have it. Putting to good use all their famed persuasiveness, the duo finally convinced the eccentric recluse to let them take possession.

“Yes,” chuckles the dryly avuncular Nyarlathotep, “you could say we made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

The couple have previously given our readers tantalizing glimpses of the gardens and furnishings, but are now ready to reveal their elegant and eldritch abode to our eager cameras. As I liveblog this, my tummy is rumbling, for there is to be a buffet dinner party later, doubtless some marvelously exotic recipes they’ve picked up in their travels, and Mrs. Nyarlathotep has promised that, as her highly esteemed guests from Unspeakable Homes and Gardens, we will be eating first.

Lily Allen IS a congeries of globes
Mrs. Shub Niggurath Nyarlathotep
Dress by Asenath Waite, hat by The House of Rlyeh

Stylist Walter Gilman describes the remarkable chapeau for us:

I sometimes compare the hat to prisms, labyrinths, clusters of cubes and planes, and Cyclopean buildings; and the organic things strike me variously as groups of bubbles, octopi, centipedes, living Hindoo idols, and intricate arabesques roused into a kind of ophidian animation. Also, I believe you can see a congeries of globes in there somewhere.

Quite so.

Mrs. Nyarlathotep, or Shub as she prefers to be called (“You can’t use the N-word, my dears, not in this country,” she explains, laughingly. “It’s considered unspeakable. I’ve always been unspeakable, really!”) leads us to the mansion’s ornate entrance. There will be a special service in the family chapel later, one to which we’ve wrangled a very exclusive invite.

“The ceremony is something very special, something we introduce to only a select few. You have been extremely helpful to us. Your articles have brought us many curious and innocent seekers after forbidden knowledge. You will be eating first,” Nyarlathotep reminds us, with just a hint of … is it a Texan accent we detect in the last sentence?

And now for some more photos:

York Minster Cathedral, Carols of the Great Old Ones Service

The lovely exterior of the palatial Nyarlathotep residence. They’ve booked a choir to entertain their star-struck guests, most of whom shuffle forward in silence, jostling for position in the velvety darkness of the tropical night. It must be remarked that, from the flabby softness of the crushing bodies, this crowd can hardly be said to be fashionably fit. They are, however, wearing what appear to be carefully distressed and oddly bunched robes of earthy colours, perhaps Vivienne Westwood, John Galliano, or late Helmut Lang.

Well, wasn’t that…remarkable. If one were to hazard a guess, one would suggest that the distinctively dissonant melody had been composed by Diamanda Galas.

Carpet Cowhide

The interior of the house is beautifully accessorised, with throw rugs of amusingly faux alien hides and a wall of similarly ironic stuffed trophy heads, among them a very lifelike effigy of Andy Warhol.

“He was close to us, and we like to keep him there,” says Shub, reading over my shoulder. “‘Ironic.’ My dear, you have no idea. But you’ll see later…” she teases.

Got to go. It’s time for the service and then, the feast!

22 thoughts on “Unspeakable Homes and Gardens

  1. I initially read the story of “the Feast” in its first form (I think it was in “Amazing Stories”) several years after its publication date – I think I was around 11 or 12 so it would have been mid fifties. That was just a couple of years before I first met the Nyarlathotep clan.

  2. Lily Allen? The one hit wonder whose new television show is already legendary for failure? The formerly pregnant drug abusing, chain-smoking, drinking partier who somehow experienced a miscarriage? Good heavens, whatever makes you say that?

  3. And that’s just what she’s accomplished in two decades. Imagine the possibilities. But I did think the resemblance was kind of nice. If you propped Lily’s eye open, they could almost be twins.

  4. HI MRS N N PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP SO I CAN APPEAR ON STEVE LAWRENCE AND EYDIE SPECIAL I AM BEING STRONGLY COURTED BY OTHER CELEBRITIES AND VERY RICH AND POWERFIL PEOPLE SERIOPUSLY OBVIOUSLY FIRST COME FIRST SERVED LOVE Gry della penna tel no 4027310238 gary c della penna intl sex symbol intl porno star fraank sinatras successor genius iq presidential advisor etc etc love love love

  5. hello again unspeakable homes mr and mrs n 9 (ABDUL) N etc etc I WAS E MAILING BLOGGING AND SENDING MESSAGES TO VASRIOUS PEOPLE AND OLACES IN VEGAS YESTERDAY INCLUD CELEBRITIES SINGERS ENTERTAINERS POLITICIANS AND EVEN NEWSPSPERS ALSO STEVE WYNN AND A MESSAGE APPEARED ON MY COMPUTER THIS MORNING THAT THEY WERE SENDING ME A NEW PASSWORD THE LIBRARIAN HERE WORKED WITH ME FOR ABOUT K5 MIN BUT TO NO AVAIL … GOT A NEW MESSAGE A FEW MINUTES AAGO THERE A IS A VERY SLIGHT PROBLEM I SHOULD GET NEW PASS WORD LATER TODAY

  6. LOVE TO ALMOST EVERY ONE SERIOUSSLY NOT 1OO oer cent…. of my fans admirers friendas pals buddies supporters etc granted the message was sent before but not on UNSPEAKABLE HOMES ETC IT WAS DISPLaYED ON PARIS HILTON SITE OR PAGE IN MazY CASE MAKES NO DIFFERENCE GOD BLESS AS RED SKELTON WOULD SAY…. SHOULD BE IN MY CASE BEST REGARDS GARY

  7. hi world ,raincoaster paris hilton steve and eydie britney spears gary unmarried unspeakable houses lindsey lohan mr and mrs north and south america includ saudia arabia etc etc i and the stephen center where i am staying for ;the past month and thee other homeless people there including at least 3 guys who were supposed to go with me to chicagop jerry springer has not called and doubt that t he or assoc pprod will but ;will continue to wait and see. love gdp

  8. hi mr and mrs nn or nnnnnnNN NN . WHat concerns me about the shoe incident in iraq with pte bush pres bush is why did he keep standing up after each shoe was thrown at him //?? to get or stay in harms way // very interesting

  9. hi raincoaster WORLD BRITNEY SPEARS PARIS HILTON LINDSEY LOHAN SEVERAL HUNDRED THOUSAND GIRLS LADIES GALS FEMASLES ON THE PORNO PHONES SOPHI LOREN CHARRO CCLARRISSA MELISSA JOAN HART SABRINA WITCH ETC GARY UN MARRIED LIX TAYLOR LORRAINE BRACCO APRIL RAYNE ETC I JUST ENTERED ON MY COMPUTER THE NAME JUNE BAKER OPINANTE AND LO AND BEHOLD THE SO CALLED STUPID CELEBRITIES WEB PAGE ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS PARIS HILTON AND GARY WAS DISPLAYED WITH THE MESSAGE FROM JUNE BAKER STATING ABOUT ME GARY DP …A MILLION DOLLARA IF ANYBODY COULD HAVE PUT A PRICE TAG ON HIS LIFE AND MIND LOML JUNE BAKER… OR CERTAINLY ONE OF THEM HUGGS AND KISSES THIS MIGHT REPEAT MIGHT BE?? A VERY MERRY XMAS

  10. hi raincoaster.. i commented on britney spears prediction about getting married in 5 yrs but has not appearred on the site the question was asked.. therefore i wll repeat the comment agaain since i do not have much else to do///.. brit.. i say britney i feel the comment is safe and ”real”,, i can not imagine britney being single for the rest of her life. THERE WERE AND ARE MANY MANY MANY REASONS FOR MY BEING DISCOVERED WHICH I HAVE IDENTIFIED DOSNN THRU YRS INCLUDING NOSTRAMADUS ESP A VISIONARY (EXCITING SEXY POLISH) INCLUDING AN INCRED INCIDENT AT MC GUIRE AFB NJ WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO RETURN TO OARIS FRANCE AND MET CAPT HAROLD SEIBER AT THE MAG SECTION IN TERMINAL WHICH I TOLD JUNE BAKER OPINANTE ABOUT .. CALLED HER IN CHICAGO APO 230 MY PROPHESIES . PREDICTIONS AND VISIONS HAVE BEEN WELL DOCUMENTED THRU THE YRS BEST REG.ARDS…..

  11. HI RAINCOASTER; I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO POST THE COMMENT HERE ON THIS SITE AND A FEW OTHERS ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS WOMAZIZER VIDEO LEAK TO THE INTERNET AND MEDIA ETC ETC. HI BRITNEY, I FOR ONE FAIL TO SEE ANYTHING EVEN SLIGHTLY CONTROVERSIAL ABOUT THE LEAK OR RELEASE OF THE VIDEO. I AM NOT EVEN SURE ABOUT JOHN Q PUB;IC ON THE SO CALLED LEAK OR RELEASE OF THE VIDEO I AM DAMM SURE POSITIVE ABOUT THE DENTISTSMIN THE VA HOSP IN HAMP MASS CORRECT THE DENTISTS IN THE VA HOSP::: I AM STILL HANGING HANGING OR THE BIG GUY STILL JUST BARELY HANGING IN THERE… THANKS TO OR NO F NNN THANK S TO WILLIAM B WILLIAMS AL JAZZBO COLLINS WNEW NYC BOB JONES STAN MARTIN JON SWazARTZ TED BROWN NOLA ROPER JI,M MR BROADWAY LOWE ALLISON STEEL PHIL TONKIN AND MR JOHN KLUGE PRES AND CEO OF WNEW AND METRO MEDIA

  12. Pingback: Tea Parties of the Damned! « raincoaster

  13. HI WORLD. I MET ANOTHER OF MY 2 MILLION PLUS FANS YESTERDAY IN UTICA NY AS I HAD LEFT THE AND ALLAINCE CENTER ON 13 HOPPER ST ARC and allaiance cntr … a lady cauc. about 45 yrs old ran or jogged across the street with ime in front of oncoming traffic and saidIF A CAR IS GOING TO HIT YOU THEY WILL TAKE ME WITH YOU ANDD AS WE CONTINUED WALKING THE THE INTEDERSECTION ABOUT 3O YARDS OR SO MADE MANY OTHER GREAT COMMENTS. WE PARTED AT THE CORNER AS I CONTINUED ON TO THE HOPE HOUSE STAY TUNED HUGS AND KISSES///

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