Barbie, Girl! The Barbie Fashion Show

cross-posted from TeenyManolo, because this is too good not to share

How many Barbie-related posts have there been by that title? Surely they number in the thousands, for Barbara Millicent Rogers is the most famous doll the world has ever seen, and in a world of implants and lipo, Ken Paves extensions and MAC cosmetics, what’s historically understood to be the Barbie look is more attainable than ever before.

For good or ill.

But on the Good side of the equation, we grown women can now purchase actual clothes inspired by Barbie and – wait, wait, come back YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE! – they’re actually quite lovely.

For Barbie’s 50th birthday, Mattel commissioned some of the top designers in the world to make Barbie-inspired outfits: Past Barbie, Present Barbie, or Future Barbie, and these, shown Saturday at New York Fashion Week, were the result. Yes, Barbie finally had a full-on fashion show, complete with swag bag. Despite the sneers of a few hardened cynics, the collection was generally well-received.

All photos by my homeboy Kris Krug of Static Photography.

Past Barbie had some snappy, sexy outfits in the Marilyn Monroe vein:

Barbie

Lyn Devon for Barbie. Past Barbie rocked the Black and White hard!

Mystery Designer Barbie look

I don’t know who designed this one but I WANT it!

A classic Barbie Look

A classic Barbie look, and one I could really use for this Thursday. Hmmmm…

Is this Bruce Oldfield?

Not sure if this is Past or Present Barbie, but it’s very reminiscent of early Bruce Oldfield, before he hooked up with Princess Diana and became all about the bling. I’d wear this every damn day if I could afford the cleaning bill, and that goes DOUBLE for the hat.

Moving into Present Barbie era, the colours are softer and there’s enough pink to satisfy even Carey Hart. Am I just old-fashioned, or are the clothes less wearable? Because I do indeed wear a lot of cocktail dresses, but I prefer the kind that stay closed until you decide to open them and whose hems don’t come infused with antigravity devices.

The Barbiest Barbie of them all

Juicy Couture, but you could probably tell without reading. This girl has to be the Barbiest Barbie in the entire show, and the hair and makeup are perfect. But…is she wearing stencilled socks with open-toed pumps? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, I don’t think even a Betsey Johnson Barbie would wear those!

Barbie in modern times

ThreeAsFour, and easily an eight in my book. The Big Hair is just Too Big, of course, but I might dig out the mousse and see what I can do in the way of a modified Barbie Do. What else am I gonna do with it, use it as improvised weather stripping?

It's KEN!

Kenneth Cole did Ken (so to speak). If black tie with jeans is wrong, I don’t want to be right!

Future Barbie needs a blue eyeshadow intervention, but the clothes were imaginative, sexy and generally wearable, if you happen to be an ageless plastic doll whose life is a cross between a Monte Carlo cabaret and a Malibu beach party.

The fiercest bitch in the squaredancing club

You can just tell, she’s the fiercest bitch in the square dancing club.

Cher Barbie?

Bob Mackie. Of course! I love this, it’s just so completely Cher Starring As Crazy Horse Stripper Barbie.

And last but not least, the finale, in which each model re-emerged, holding the hand of a little girl wearing a Barbie t-shirt and a coloured tutu, while heart-shaped confetti fell from the ceiling and digital fireworks went off in the background.

Barbie Fashion Show Finale

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21 thoughts on “Barbie, Girl! The Barbie Fashion Show

  1. Apparently Barbie is a winter, because only the black or white outfits look good.
    Ok, that red one is not horrible too. The first three are pretty hot though.

  2. Ah, Metro, how quickly one’s fluency with the language diminishes when one puts it aside. “Anorexics” is the word you’re looking for.

    And hmh, you don’t like those clothes? I adore them! Except the green thing; the underskirt is fab, but the green, sparkly platter sitting on top is just flat-out ugly.

    Boobies? Boobies are so 20th Century!

  3. While linguistic facility may desert, on occasion, those of us who grew up in Wiarton and may thus be said to have learned it as a second language, I’m generally something of a linguistic martinet.

    “Anorectic” is a term used to describe someone who has a relationship with anorexia nervosa. However, it is more commonly used in areas where G Eagles are known to reside.

    In North America, the term “anorexic” is used interchangeably.

    That said, I refer you to your own post here. I feel it really says all there is to say on the matter.

  4. Nice dresses but it’s very wrong to feature such a racist image. I am offended by being called a white woman as I’m clearly a mottled shade of pink and prefer to be described as a woman of colour. I can’t tell you how distressing it was for blonde girls to be called ‘Barbie dolls’. It’s so offensive.

  5. I’ve always held that red is a color of excitement. Excitable parts of our bodies turn red with increased blood flow (i.e. red is the color of sex)

  6. Pingback: Avatars of Feminine Power: Bad Role Models « raincoaster

  7. After I originally commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new
    comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment
    is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Is there an easy method you
    are able to remove me from that service?

    Many thanks!

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