Sandwich Board: a tragedy in two acts

In the tradition of Hemingway’s Six Word Novels and David B. Dale’s 299 Word Novels, we present a new classic of Irish Literature, a tragedy in two acts, each of which is allegedly worth a thousand words (which, if they were at Vanity Fair would pay me enough to live on for four months, but that’s neither here nor there because the last time I talked to them they were (strangely) not up for buying blog posts from me, even if I’d impregnated the daughter of the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate, which would be admittedly quite a feat and probably get me on Jerry Springer even if he had to come back from Cancellation Hell just to feature me, not to mention I have no taste for slumming).

Act One:

soup of the day whiskey

Act Two:

shitfaced mondays cancelled

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