Short Attention Span Lemur presents: your Occupy Unicorn Chaser!

A day late and $75 billion short on your Unicorn Chaser good news roundup. After what went down last night in Oakland, I think we could all use a Unicorn Chaser, and the sooner the better.

What went down in Oakland, did I hear you ask? This:

But hey, cheer up!

Occupy Rockettes. If Michael Lohan can do it, you can too!

There! All better! Not quite?

Occu-Pumpkin to be turned into Occu-pie!

Now?

Well, I didn’t want to bring out the heavy artillery, but okay. Here goes. Be careful: better sit down for this.

So THAT's what a snow bunny looks like.

You can’t say I didn’t warn you. BOW TO THE POWER OF THE BUNNY!

THE POWER OF THE BUNNY COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF THE BUNNY COMPELS YOU!

Look, another Bonsai Kitteh! Gotta catch ’em all!

Bonsai kitteh bowl model. I can haz yoga?

And remember, Halloween is coming. Here’s an awesome list of great costumes from Ned Hepburn, so you’re not the Slutty Black Cat at a party of fifty Slutty Black Cats. I absolutely hate that, but then, I went as a fleeing banana republic dictator last time I dressed up. At least all that Indonesian cash was good for SOMETHING.

Slutty Hunter S. Thompson

Slutty Aaron Sorkin

Slutty Samuel Beckett

Slutty Hitler

Slutty Kathy Bates

Slutty Obama

Slutty Randy Quaid

Slutty Randy Newman

Slutty Raptor (from Jurassic Park)

Slutty Werner Herzog

Slutty Harry Dean Stanton

Slutty Brave Little Toaster

Slutty Billy Elliott

Slutty Macbeth

Slutty Colonel Kurtz

Slutty Last-Five-Minutes-Of-Easy-Rider™

You’re welcome. I’m thinking Slutty Hunter S. Thompson if I can get a military vest. I look fetching in a visor, and it’ll show off the head wound nicely.

Here’s my friend Ian Spiegelman‘s costume from last year, appropriate for a member of the New York Literati: Slutty Scrabble Board!

Ian Spiegelman's Slutty Scrabble Board

“Jizz” has two “z’s,” Ian.

But I think this year, it’s got to be this one, even if I do get a cramp:

My Future Husband Banksy

Not accurate enough? Use your Imagination.