We are later-calling the COVID briefing bingo for today, for lo, we were still asleep when the briefing itself happened. If someone wants to pay us The Big Bucks (like, any. Any bucks. We’re not proud) we’ll be happy to not sleep through two different alarms. One is using the royal “we” of course. We have no idea why. One has no idea why. One and we blame the multiple alarms.

Whatever.

We or I am of the mind or minds that we or I or all of us have run out of Paul Naschy werewolf movies and rather than re-use the titles of the many ones which have been re-titled, we are moving on to Bela Lugosi movies, several of which ALSO boast multiple titles. Movie laundering: it’s just like money laundering only you only make 4%, not 30%. Bela was hot.

Bela could Get It.

So today’s briefing bingo is named after the officially Worst Movie of All Time, Plan 9 from Outer Space. That’s NUMERAL nine. Because we fancy like that.

Here are our cards. Mark one or mark them all. Nothing matters anymore.

• First Generation
• Second Generation
• Third Generation
• Fourth Generation
• Fifth Generation
• Sixth Generation
• and all of our other Covid Briefing Bingos are on the category page.

And our CPAC video. Do we think they’ll ever reply to our message? No, kittens. No, we do not. But it’s okay. We’ve still got our poetry.

Man, even the CPAC captioning team is half-assing it these days.

Shall we begin? Let us begin.

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