Category Archives: animals

Hinterland’s Who’s Who: Spiders on Drugs

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This is a blast from the past for Canucks, who probably grew up watching those ridiculous Hinterland’s Who’s Who interludes from the NFB. We may not be good at asserting ourselves, but buy god we know our black footed marmot from our white footed one! Stole this from the House of Hunt.

UPDATE: bitch has gone and disabled embedding. Bloody princess; 300,000 hits in ONE DAY and now he decides he doesn’t want to be famous.

UPDATED UPDATE: he says:

Your wish is my command, raincoaster.
Spiders for all!!!

and has re-enabled embedding, yay! Now he’s less than a thousand hits away from 700,000, at two and a quarter million views, which is undoubtably the highest-ranking Canadian nature video ever to hit the internets.

It’s the “100 centimeters” that slays me. TOO Canadian! 

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Cobra Hunter: Toronto!

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king cobra. Your majesty is welcome here.Riiiiiiiiiight, you’re thinking. But it’s true: Toronto, capital of Ontario and of banality, is host to a professional reptile hunter, and yet he hasn’t even touched the ones in Bay Street.

Let’s enter the squamous, deadly world of Josh Feltham, Canadian Cobra Hunter. Crikey, Steve Irwin would be so proud.

Aside from a few sightings more than three months ago, the deadly scaled fugitive has vanished without a trace.The hunt for the venomous snake has shut down the rooming house, sent its five tenants packing and left the landlord, Philip Belanger, $20,000 poorer from lost rent and damage. Belanger says he’s heard estimates that the City of Toronto has spent $100,000 in its bid to find the snake, calling in the police, fire department, paramedics and experts from the Toronto Zoo and Animal Services. The city will not confirm any figure.

“The thing about snakes is they’ve evolved to be elusive,” Josh Feltham, a reptile expert, says. “If I was that snake I’d be having a great time in that house. There’s food around. It can explore. What more do you need … A female maybe…”

Think like a snake; there’s your first step. Politicians and bankers looking for alternative career choices are perfectly adapted for this option, and we should all do our best to encourage them to become cobra hunters. Let’s start with Stephen Harper, shall we?

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the fart tax

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Moo???? Watch that hand, Miliband!The inimitable Pierre Elliott Trudeau once said that the government has no place in the bedrooms of the nation. The prefab Tony Blair, however, thinks that where the government really belongs is up the rectums of cattle, and who among us would disagree?

Farmers will be told today they could be penalised if they do not stop their flatulent animals farting so much methane gas. The environment secretary, David Miliband, will tell a farming conference in Oxford that agriculture now contributes 7% of all UK greenhouse gas emissions and more than a third of all emissions of methane -one of the most dangerous greenhouse gases…

Tomorrow, I imagine cows all over Great Britain will be getting a stern talking to. Let’s hope they start with Margaret Thatcher.

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steve irwin, rip

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Steve Irwin is the most brilliant Australian in the history of recorded…history. Ever. Bar none.