Wow, looks like it’s Tory Day here on the ol’ raincoaster blog. Take a snapshot; these don’t come around too often. Mostly we’re all about the nude hot-tubbing with Rage Against the Machine, making blood sacrifices to Cthulhu, and sharing pot brownies with the United Slackers of Anarchy.

We certainly are being far more inclusive than it was ever our intention to be this Yuletide season. Sure, we’ve posted Christmas on Acid, but hey, I live in Vancouver; like this pandering to the druggies is anything unusual. The Charlie Brown Kwanzaa was a bit of a stretch, it’s admitted, but if you’re gonna be un-PC, I say be un-PC all the way and damn the torpedos of all races, creeds, and colourways. Boymongoose’s Bollywood 12 Days of Christmas has a rockin’ beat that I couldn’t pass up, and the same can be said (in its own delicate Coward-ly way) for Hanukkah in Santa Monica. As for the 12 isms of Christmas, who doesn’t have a spare Nihilist or Surrealist in their circle who feels all too marginalized at this time of year?

So here I am, holding my nose and posting the synopsis for the Ayn Rand Selfish Christmas Special, from the 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time, which I found via Master Cowfish.

Ayn Rand’s A Selfish Christmas (1951)

In this hour-long radio drama, Santa struggles with the increasing demands of providing gifts for millions of spoiled, ungrateful brats across the world, until a single elf, in the engineering department of his workshop, convinces Santa to go on strike. The special ends with the entropic collapse of the civilization of takers and the spectacle of children trudging across the bitterly cold, dark tundra to offer Santa cash for his services, acknowledging at last that his genius makes the gifts — and therefore Christmas — possible. Prior to broadcast, Mutual Broadcast System executives raised objections to the radio play, noting that 56 minutes of the hour-long broadcast went to a philosophical manifesto by the elf and of the four remaining minutes, three went to a love scene between Santa and the cold, practical Mrs. Claus that was rendered into radio through the use of grunts and the shattering of several dozen whiskey tumblers. In later letters, Rand sneeringly described these executives as “anti-life.”

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