Category Archives: beauty

Sponsor Shave for a Cure 2008

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Elvis shoulda cut and run!As longtime readers know, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are nothing but a big softie, however much we way threaten you with our tentacles and fangs and use the first-person plural at times; we are just trying to be inclusive of our alter personalities, that’s all. And as an expression of this innner softie-tude, we present the following announcement, from regular commenter Lydia:

This is my youngest brother who, when he was born with Downs, was not expected to live for more than 6 months. He just turned 47! So there! Lydia

Chris is supporting the fight against childhood cancer by shaving his head in the 2008 Shave for a Cure event on January 25th. Chris considers himself very lucky as he has enjoyed good health and the support of friends and family throughout his life. As an added bonus we all know how much he would love to have his head shaved! Please help him raise funds for childhood cancer research. It’s easy to do. Just follow the link and you can make your pledge online. Thanks for helping Chris “give something back”!

Thank you!

Click here to Sponsor Chris Bradshaw!

(PS: sorry if the image doesn’t show up. WordPress is being a touch touchy lately, or perhaps my tech curse {see below posts} is simply spreading)

Cute Overload: Nick Cave and Shane McGowan singing “What a Wonderful World”

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Yes, as promised it’s the twin princes of darkness, the Anti-Piteras. Nick Cave, the Black Crow King, and Shane McGowan, patron saint of immoderation, performing Louis Armstrong‘s own ode to joy, What a Wonderful World. Lyrics after the jump.

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Thought for the Day: Celebrity Dentation Edition

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No, I’m not one to talk.

No, of course not. Perish the very thought!

I mean, it’s been six years since I saw a dentist other than, you know, casually in the street or maybe in the lineup at Starbucks and even then, it’s hard to tell that they’re dentists you know: they don’t exactly run around wearing white coats and rubber gloves, dragging a drill, the smell of formaldehyde, and an anxious receptionist with a clipboard behind them all the time.

Sometimes, sure.

But still, what with my gravity-free wisdom teeth and multiple crossaddictions to the tooth-staining substances in coffee, red wine, and the blood of innocents, my dentation cannot be said to be up to Osmond standard. Not to put too fine a point on it, if you made a wedding dress the colour of my molars everyone would assume you were not only experienced, you were in half-mourning.

But there are those, even those whose job it is to be photographed expensively, whose teeth put mine to shame. Although there is debate about the subject, the chainsmoking, red-wine-swilling Helena Bonham Carter cannot be counted among them. While stained, her choppers still resemble human teeth, unlike those of this man:

Diddymaw

The Diddymaw will. not. close. Has he done so much coke that he can’t breathe through his nose anymore? I thought that shit was supposed to eat a hole through your septum…surely it should open up the passageways, rather than close them down, presuming, of course, that he doesn’t use his sinuses to store, warehouse-like, condom-wrapped packages of marching powder.

Like this woman:

Amy Winehouse has meth teefs

Don’t get me wrong: her teeth are nice and clean. No, I think the problem with Amy Winehouse‘s teeth is that her substance-laced post-nasal drip has simply started to dissolve them.

funny pictures

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A Happy Octopus New Year!

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Now this is what I call a party!
Octopus love
This touching depiction of cephalopod love in the fatal style of Romeo and Juliet was painted by Brandi Milner and passed along by Mistress Cowfish, at whose lovely tiki bar I, myself, spent a happy New Year’s Eve. It’s a darn good thing she’s fond of him, even though he appears to be dying (for the fatal biology of the case, see The Little Mermaid) because fighting off eight arms is not a pleasant task, particularly if you’ve been drinking. Such a shame they must be separated by death.
It’s positively cephalopoignant.

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Kumari Fulbright Schadenfreude Special: Beauty Queen Goes Bad

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Ah, how the world loves a Beauty Queen. From the blister-inducing stripper heels in the swimsuit competition (guess they’ll be swimming with sharks) to the painful nailing of the tiara to the skull at the coronation, to the ozone-depleting layers of hairspray that make the triumphant ride in the convertible possible, truly il fait suffrir pour etre belle.

Or even, it appears, laide.

One man who suffered because his beauty queen was not laid was this poor, anonymous Arizona man, who dumped the handsome-looking Miss Kumari Fulbright, law student, model, Miss Pima County in 2005, Miss Desert Sun in 2006, and repeat Miss Arizona (and boyfriend) loser.

Bad move.

Kumari Fulbright, Miss Automatic Weapons 2007?

As you might have gathered from the above image of the doubtless-to-be-portrayed-by-Hilary Swank Miss Fulbright, she is no stranger to the handling of more weaponry than a law student/beauty queen/model could normally claim to require under standard operating procedure.

But she’s always been anything but standard, of course. So, naturally, when she found herself holed up alone in the Heartbreak Hotel, Dumpsville, she contacted three thugs of her acquaintance and persuaded them, presumably for a fee or services rendered, to assist her in the kidnapping and torturing of her now ex-beloved.

Court documents said the foursome tied the man up with plastic cable ties and duct tape, holding him at two Tucson homes, during which time they pointed handguns at him, threatened his life, stole his cell phone, briefcase and wallet, taking between $500 and $600.

The newspaper also said the documents accused Fulbright of biting him several times, sticking a butcher knife in his ear, saying she was going to kill him and pointing a pistol at him.The Star said after eight to 10 hours, the victim grabbed Fulbright’s gun, which went off, and he fled the house screaming for help.

Ah, but as with so many love stories, the best is yet to come. Yes, beauty queens give us many gifts. The gift of beauty, the gift of talent, the gift of youth, the gift of hope, but most of all…

the gift of Schadenfreude.

Click over the jump to view the truly satisfying end to a real-life Bruce Springsteen ballad gone bad…

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