It’s obviously Goth Day on the ol’ raincoaster blog, and about bloody time. I’ve had enough Britney.
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You scored as Anything-Goes Goth. You are very open minded. You may or may not be devoted to your “Gothickry,” but you aren’t anal about it either way, and you are willing to explore the various niches of the gothic subculture. Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one.
What subcategory of Goth best fits you? |
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If Hannibal Lecter were an obstetrician, these would be standard maternity wear. As it is, they’re popular among a certain set that never should have entered the gene pool in the first place.
I know waaaaay too many women who are going for cosmetic cesareans with a side of tummy tucks, rationalizing to anyone who gets within arm’s reach that the recovery time is less than a natural birth; actually, no. They just stitch you up and send you home faster. It’s major abdominal surgery, and you’ll need that trapeze in the bedroom for getting out of bed rather than any of the activities for the sake of which you went through with an elective invasive procedure. And in case you’re wondering: he’ll still cheat on you anyway. Glad to be of service!
Stolen from Gawker, who had their own, for once somewhat less pointed words to say about it.
Actually, you know, I’d love to see Fat Bastard in one of these.
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or at least Vancouver poet/accordionist/comedian Rowan Lipkovits is. Here he is at the Roxy, a barn-like nightclub for people under 25 looking to get A) shitfaced and B) laid. Watch and enjoy as he testifies to the fact that he is not exactly in their target demographic. The songs are Al Mader‘s I’m a Lousy Lover and Lipkovits‘ own elderly-tomcat theme, Cougar Man. UPDATE: Rowan reports that Cougar Man is a product of the genius of Peter Guindon, aka Bob Uker (as in ukulele-player), aka The Minoans.
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Well take a LOOK! What would YOU call them?
Discovered at a depth of over 8500 feet, these beautiful and mysterious life forms are unlike any known jellyfish. What no-one knows is, why are they pink? Colour is theoretical at that incredible depth, as there are no naturally-occurring light sources except the glow of the phosphorescent hunters. If there are gay rights activist/jellyfish enthusiasts out there, this is definitely their totem animal.
The new species is from the Cnidarian (phylum of jellyfish, corals, anemones) order stauromedusae… The new species is unusual in its color (pink) and its proximity to to the superheated vent fluids.
And they called it puppy love
Oh i guess they’ll never know
how an old fart really feels
and just why I can’t let him go…
Mortifying Confession Alert: I used to steal my little sister’s Donny and Marie albums and listen to them when she was asleep, particularly the really corny tunes. But my parents figured it was probably healthier for me than sneaking out to go drinking, so they didn’t interfere.
What can I say? I had a boring youth, even for a Canadian. In fact, I had a number of boring youths…but that’s a tale for another time.
and they called it GenX love
just because I’m past my teens
tell them all
please tell them it isn’t fair
to take away my only dream
Yes, ladies, we can still live the dreams of our youth, particularly if we take our glasses off for that nice, soft focus that makes everyone look just a little bit more like we remember. Donny Osmond is back, and raincoaster’s got him. Or at least, I’ve got this silly flash game, which is the next best thing. Compare and contrast to the Britney Spears Grab the Sex Tape game: Toss Donny a rose from the back row of the concert hall and make him fall in love with you.
Awwwwwwww.
I drive all night
to go see you
these seats are a real pain
I hope and I pray
that maybe someday
I’ll be down (I’ll be down) in the front row
once again
If he snatches your rose, you advance to the next level, which is something like a very euphemistic version of the life path of Pamela DesBarres. Also, if you go up a level he throws you a kiss and sings yet another song of the Seventies, and quite frankly, can you ever have enough of either of those?
someone help me
help me
help me please
will he catch it in his glove?
how can I
oh how can I tell him
to ignore that bitch, Courtney Love
You cannot pass up this opportunity. You cannot fool ol’ raincoaster here: she scored a part-time gig as a surveillance tech for Santa so she sees you when you’re sleeping, she knows when you’re awake, she knows when you’ve been bad or good and she sure as HELL knows you’ve still got that unrequited crush on Donald Clark Osmond, so don’t just sit there, do something about it! Don’t forget the life lessons the Osmond Family taught us: don’t end up like the two in this ancient classic. Seriously, it’s worth slogging through to level eight, just to hear him do Barry Manilow‘s immortal Mandy. Should I mention the current high scorer in this game is named Aaron? You GO girlfriend!
someone help me
help me
help me please
should I lob it up above?
how can he
oh how can he catch this?
this is not a puppy love
(this is not a puppy love)
(this is not a puppy love)
not a puppy love
(this is not a puppy love)
(oooooooh yes it is)
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raincoaster 